January 10, 2012

why we SKIPPED CHURCH {and loved it}


The last two weeks have been pretty busy for Dustin at work.  Even though both were only 4-day weeks, we're pretty sure he worked 50+ hours each week.  He also worked when he got home and received quite a few late night phone calls from employees that needed help.

That didn't leave much time for us as a family to be together. 

On Saturday, I had the weird thought that we shouldn't go to church on Sunday.  Instead, we should just spend the day together.  I thought it was kind of weird to feel so good about skipping church, but I really did.

I thought, if we didn't go to church we would miss so many things... 

We would miss the usual tantrum of getting our daughter out of her PJs and into a dress. 

 We would miss the short, but always frustrating, walk to the church because the little one refuses to hold our hands.  

We would miss not sitting in the chapel during sacrament meeting and finding our usual spot in the foyer. 

We would miss trying to keep our full of energy sweet pea quiet and from running around the building during what always promises to be the longest 70 minutes of my week.  

We would miss the usual fight going to nursery, and (because if there is an opportunity to be difficult, why not be?) the usual fight leaving nursery.  

And, last, but not least, we'd miss the fun walk home because, again, our lovely bundle of joy won't hold our hands and insists on walking every and anywhere but the sidewalk.

After weighing my options and thinking about all the things we'd miss by not going to church, what to do ended up being a pretty painless dilemma.

We totally and utterly and shamelessly skipped church.

And it was probably the best Sabbath day I've had in a long time.

37 comments:

  1. Church can be overrated! I am down with eliminating Sunday School. Who really needs it anyways? I usually come home trying not to be offended!

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  2. Don't feel bad, I missed church for the 3rd straight week! I do, however, have a good excuse for missing... I got my tonsils, adenoids and taken out and nose worked on December 23rd! I have sleep apnea and hopefully this will help out with that issue. I was hoping to be done with this recovery stuff in 2 weeks, but I am currently on week 3! I've got to teach Sunday School on Sunday, wo the goal is to make it back then!!

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  3. Abby - I'm with you. I'm lucky to stay awake during SS.

    Alan - 3 weeks. Pssh! I once missed 6 weeks straight. Granted, I had just had a kid, but still. Hope you feel better so you can teach!

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  4. I have been really bad myself at not going to church but then they nab you for callings so you have to come. I agree with the coment from The Cherry Family I do not enjoy Sunday School and I really wish Sacrament Meeting was first (apparently there are only two wards in our stake that don't due Sacrament Meeting first ours and
    9th Ward go figure. We should be getting a new Bishopric pretty soon so maybe something good will happen like Sacrament Meeting first. I feel guilty when I don't go for just a minute and then I am over it.

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  5. I was specifically asked to comment, so here goes:
    I wasn't going to tell anyone, but I missed the previous 2 weeks in a row. We're all going to HELL, I tell ya! HELL! (But at least we'll all be in good company! :) I do have to say that I got up and got my 3 little kids to church every single Sunday they were growing up. And I took them to church myself THE ENTIRE TIME. I sat with them being little monsters...throwing hymn books across the chapel, pulling fiber off the wallpaper, unscrewing the hymn book holders with pocket knives, etc etc etc. So don't get too used to staying home! You only get a few "get out of church free" passes!
    I'm glad you enjoyed your free time!

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  6. Sounds so stressful! I'd be tempted to skip, too!

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  7. I say, skip away! God isn't in that building. God is wherever you are.

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  8. Sometimes we can enjoy the spirit without the formality. In fact, probably more than not. I could go on and on...but that's tmi for you to know about me. :)

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  9. Flintstone also refuses to hold hands unless he's having trouble balancing.

    Sounds like it was a well worth it break!

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  10. It sounds like you needed the break. Nothing wrong with that, as long as it doesn't become a habit.

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  11. I confess we've skipped church too on occasion because of the energetic toddler and the lack of a church nursery. What upset us more wasn't that he couldn't sit still, it was the judgmental looks from other parishioners. Glad you enjoyed the break and made the best of your Sunday focusing on the blessings that God gave you...your family. Visiting from SITS.

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  12. I remember those days. My kids are 13-21 now. Church is a different experience for me now that I get to fully participate in it.

    It will get better. Your child will learn the routine (eventually) and you will know that you are setting her on the path as only you can.

    My therapist often reminds me that it's okay to take a break. I'm glad the weekend was a refreshing one for you. Best wishes.

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  13. Everyone needs to skip sometimes. It's amazing what a little break from routine can do for the soul.

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  14. {Melinda} It is so exhausting to get everyone out the door (to go anywhere!) when they are little. Sunday mornings have ALWAYS been stressful at my house. My kids are 12 and 15 now and I just want to encourage you that I don't regret fighting the battle (over many years!) to get them to church.

    Sounds like you and your family needed the break and to just enjoy each other. God honors that. I just want to assure you that your efforts on any given Sunday are not in vain!

    Visiting from SITS! Congratulations on your big day! :)

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  15. We have 4 children. The oldest is almost 10, and then a 7, so those 2 aren't too bad. But the 4 and 2 YOs are horrible. And when the 4 and 7 get too close, it's WWIII. By the time we even GET to church, no one needs it more than me. I havn't been in a long time. I truly miss my church family, and I know i'm doing my children a disservice. I just don't know how to do it.

    Enjoy your SITS day!

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  16. I have three and right now I have to take them to church by myself. It's hard and many Sundays I don't even get through the whole service. I wanted to suggest a book that has helped me. Parenting in The Pew. It's still really hard and I've skipped Sundays too but this book helped me get focused about what I was doing and why and how. It's SO good! Happy SITS day!!

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  17. Everyone misses from time to time. I missed yesterday. I hated it, but I was sick and so I slept all day, because my girls were out with their dad for Father's Day.

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  18. It's ok to miss if you attend church regularly, we missed yesterday and I hate missing church. We get up for early morning service at 7:30, so it felt good to sleep in. It was a very relaxing day. God is everywhere, especially in our hearts. Stopping by from SITS!

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  19. Surely it's called a day of REST for a reason! Dragging a screaming kid down the street sounds like no rest at all. I think a break-week is surely called for!

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  20. Sounds like it was a well-planned decision! :) Happy SITS Day! I hope you enjoy your spotlight!
    ~Andrea

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  21. It can be such a doozy! Hope you enjoyed your family time together!

    Enjoy your SITS day! :)

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  22. At this point, with a 6 yo, 4 yo, and 20 month old (and no nursery or sunday school to put them in during mass) we only make it to church a couple times a month....and I feel awful about it but then we usually get some amazing family time in too! And lucky us, get to miss all the fun of taking a toddler to church ;) Just yesterday mine sat down in the isle on the way up to communion to take her shoes off! LOL

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  23. Sometimes you need to stay home and rest! Just wait for teenagers and church. Now that's a different story... happy SITS Day!

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  24. I remember those days! A break from that once in awhile is okay. Happy SITS day!

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  25. Church isn't the easiest place for little ones. I don't blame you for skipping!

    Happy SITS Day!

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  26. Having once been that little tiny toddler in church, I can only congratulate your decision.

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  27. My children refuse to hold hands either. Ugh. I so wish they would.

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  28. sounds like you made a great decision! it's good to prioritize family time and it sounds like you and your husband needed the break!

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  29. Church, especially the ones with long liturgical ceremonies, are not designed with toddlers in mind. I wonder though, what do you get from it?

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  30. Totally get where you are coming from!! We are almost always very late to church, and it is nice to skip it once in a while!!

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  31. If you skip too much they'll call your hubby to the bishopric! Be careful! LOL! I so totally can relate to this one!

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  32. So glad my church has a nursery. My son loves going in there. We don't do Sunday School, so I go to choir practice and my hubby drops my son off at the nursery. Free babysitting and it takes a lot of stress off of us.

    Stopping by from SITS.

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  33. We fight this battle weekly. I love church but sometimes it is worth staying home! Found you on SITS, look forward to reading more of your blog.

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  34. We haven't tried with my son because I know he doesn't have the patience yet to sit for too long.

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  35. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but this phase in your family's life WILL pass, and soon be but a memory.
    I do remember how hard it was!
    Hang in there!
    Just cling to your connection to your Father, who loves you when you do go to church, and when you don't.

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  36. Stopping by from SITS...happy day! Sounds like you deserved your day!!

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  37. I haven't been to church in four years. I feel guilty on Sundays watching people with their children and big church hats while I'm going to work. I cringe a little but I don't worry that my daughter is not getting enough spiritual learning.My mom takes care of her in that area

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