WHAT'S in a NAME?

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

-Romeo & Juliet

Several years ago, I was experimenting with a new medication for my epilepsy.  Dustin and I had decided we wanted to have a child, and my current medication was not recommended for women who were pregnant or trying to get pregnant.

After a lot of trial and error, I began taking a new medication that not only controlled my seizures but also had the least serious side effects while taken while pregnant.  And, it wasn't long after that, that I found out I was pregnant.

Not long into my pregnancy, I went to the pharmacy to pick up a refill.  I noticed that the price of my prescription was significantly less than it had been before.  When I asked the pharmacist about the price difference, he said it was because I was given the generic, not name-brand, medicine.

I was confused and concerned about any changes being made while I was still pregnant, and promptly called my doctor.  I was told that the generic medicine had the same ingredients as the name-brand and was safe for me to consume.

I've been thinking about that experience a lot lately and how it relates to labels.

Everything in our life has a label.

Products are labeled.  People are labeled.  Places are labeled.

And we put a lot of stock into these labels.

Sometimes a label really does make a difference.  For example, spending $$$ on a table from West Elm will more than likely lead to owning a higher quality product as compared to a table you would buy from Target.

There is nothing wrong with wanting products from high quality companies, especially if your budget allows for it.

The problem with labels come when we use them to elevate our own status or worth.  Am I a better person because I own a table from West Elm as compared to the person that owns a table from Target.  The answer is, obviously, no.

I think it's sometimes hard to remember that.

Owning a certain product doesn't mean you're better or worse than somebody else.  It just means you own a certain product.

Product labels are one thing.  But, what about labels we put on ourselves or other people?

For example, politicians.  How likely are you to justify a political leader's behavior so long as they belong to the same political party as you?  From my perspective, we will justify or shrug off or accept or even deny facts so long as the leader is labeled correctly.

The same is true for our family members, friends, celebrities or well-respected community members like doctors. 

I happened upon a conversation on Facebook between a man running for mayor and a voter.  The man running for office had a lot of great things to say.  He had good ideas.  He was well-written and appeared to have a genuine concern for the city.  The voter was only interested in one thing:  what party the candidate belonged to.  It was obvious the voter would only consider this candidate's ideas or concerns legitimate so long as he belonged to the correct party.

The candidate eventually disclosed his political affiliation and the conversation was over.

Keep in mind, his ideas for the city had not changed.  He still meant what he said.  But, because he now had a labeled attached to him, he was either liked or disliked regardless of the details.

I don't think there's really any way around labels in general.  Certainly, not when it comes to products.  But, it would be nice to see some changes with labels when it comes to people.

Some people with all the right labels aren't necessarily good people making good decisions.

And some people with the less-than flattering labels aren't necessarily bad people making bad decisions.

Some labels are inevitable, like our race or ethnicity...unless you're that white woman living in Seattle.

Other labels, like being cool because you shop at Trader Joe's, are meaningless.  A great example of this is when some frozen food line was recalled from Trader Joe's and Walmart stores.  I had a good laugh at that one.

I'm trying really hard to look beyond the labels we give ourselves or other people.  Whether we're rich or poor, male or female, married or single or divorced, we all have value.  We all have strengths that are needed in our society.  And we all have weaknesses that other people can help us with.  We're more similar than we realize.

And, at the end of the day, whether name-brand or generic, I'm not having seizures.  

And that's all that matters to me!

concert ETIQUETTE

My first year at Weber State University was back in 1999.  I was almost 19 years old.  That year, I was attending school on a music scholarship.  I was a member of the Weber State Symphony Orchestra and also took private violin lessons.

I learned very quickly that the conductor of the orchestra was very serious about music.  He expected prompt, well-prepared, well-behaved students, and he let you know if you were walking on thin ice.

Being completely out of my comfort zone that first year, I wanted nothing more than to be on time to orchestra every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  I did not rock the boat at all.  After all, I was attending school completely free thanks to my conductor.  He didn't deserve anything but my best efforts.

During my first year, my conductor learned of a few health problems I had.  He preferred if students let him know ahead of time if they were not going to be in class, so whenever I had to miss class I let him know.  Without fail, the next time I was in class, I was warmly greeted by the conductor.  He asked if I was okay and always seemed happy that I was back in class.  Even though I was one of many violinists in the class, I knew my attendance mattered to him.

I took the following year off from orchestra.  I was not planning to major in music, but between learning pages and pages and pages of symphonies, private lessons and so forth, I spent a good amount of time playing my violin, often at the expense of my other general ed classes.

The summer before my third year of school, I decided I wanted to be apart of orchestra again.  Because I made the decision a few weeks before fall semester was to begin, I thought it would be a good idea to inform the conductor of my decision as he requires students to audition before registering for his class.  As expected, he was happy I was going to be in orchestra again and even offered me a part-tuition scholarship.

I learned that summer that my conductor, while strict and serious, was also kind and genuinely interested in his students and wanted them to succeed.

This week, my local news reported that my conductor, the man that was easily one of the best professors I ever had, demanded that a mentally ill person leave the audience during an orchestra concert.

According to the article, the conductor stopped the performance twice, glared at the audience and then reminded everyone that children were not allowed; however, it was soon discovered that the noise being made by the audience was not from a child, it was from a mentally ill person.  What illness this person had was not made known in the article, but it was reported that he/she and his/her family left the performance early.

Of course, now, a few days later, everyone is in an uproar about it calling the conductor's behavior appalling and ridiculous. 

Well, not everyone.  I read a lot of comments posted about the article and a lot of people are siding with the conductor saying he had absolutely no idea that the person disrupting the concert was mentally ill.  Which is 100% true.  How would he know?  He doesn't greet the audience when they walk into the building.  He's backstage.  All he knew is that someone was being loud and disruptive while he and his students performed Beethoven's Symophony No. 9.

I've thought a lot about this story.  I feel really sorry for the conductor.  This has got to be a total and complete nightmare for him.

Or, was he really in the wrong for what he did?

I know that had a non-mentally ill person been disrupting the performance, no one would've thought twice about the conductor putting an end to it.  

We get annoyed when people play with their cell phones or talk during movies.  

I am constantly glared at when my daughter is acting up when I'm at a store. 

I've read articles about stores having "no children" hours.

And those are public places.  This was an orchestra concert.  These students were performing a piece that they had spent hours upon hours rehearsing.

We're taught to treat everybody the same no matter our condition.  No matter our mental or physical capacities, everyone is equal.  Right?  So, why is everyone all up in arms about him doing just that     -  Treating this person as an equal?  Or, is the issue that he demanded a respectful audience and people just can't handle that sort of honesty?

i'm an AMERICAN

When I was 19 years old, I had the amazing opportunity to go to China with the Weber State Symphony Orchestra.  I played the violin (still do actually) and was attending college on a music scholarship. The trip was scheduled for March 2000, my second semester at college; however, I found out about the trip months before I even began going to school.

When I heard about the trip, my initial reaction was not to go.  I didn't know anyone in the orchestra (yet) and worried I wouldn't have a good time because of it.  Thankfully, my mom, in all her wisdom, told me I should go.  So, I went.

When the trip finally arrived I had made some good friends, and while I was nervous to travel so far from home I knew it would be a good experience for me.  The 15 hour plane right wasn't that bad, but traveling with one of my most prized possessions, my violin, made things somewhat complicated.

The plan was to stay in Shanghai for 8 days.  We had three different concerts scheduled in that area, one of which was combined with a Chinese orchestra.  Due to limited stage room, only half of my orchestra was able to play with the Chinese performers, and fortunately for me I was able to play.

After our stay in Shanghai, our plan was to fly to Beijing and tour the area.  No performing.  We planned to see The Great Wall and Tiananmen Square just to name a few.

Shortly after arriving in Shanghai, it was evident that us Americans stood out, especially those of us with blonde hair.  Young people, probably college students, who spoke English would run up to us on the streets just to talk.  People were so excited to see us, were so curious about us for no other reason than that we were from the United States of America.

My best memory of China was along these same lines.

I was walking around the streets of Shanghai.  I was not alone, but I don't remember who was with me.  A Chinese man and woman approached me.  There was an obvious language barrier, but the man pointed his camera to me, so I assumed he wanted me to take a picture of him with his wife.  As I reached for the camera, the two shook their heads and I soon realized that they wanted a picture of me.  I stood next to the man, his wife took one picture of us together and another of us shaking hands.  And that was that.

They wanted a picture of me because I was an American.  As long as I live, I will never forget that moment.

My trip to China was amazing.  Not only did I see and experience amazing landmarks, I gained a greater appreciation for being an American.  I was grateful for my freedom and was happy I didn't have to live in a city flooded with soldiers carrying machine guns.

It is really easy to get caught up in our differences.  There are so many sides to each story.  Tolerance for different opinions and lifestyles is steadily decreasing.

But, hopefully, no matter what, we, as Americans, can always appreciate what we have.

oh, TLC!

"I thought you'd be some place were U.S. law can't touch you like Bali or Utah."

-Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock

Have we all heard about TLC's latest show Sister Wives?  I suppose having shows about little people and incredibly fertile families (19 kids, seriously?) got boring, so they had to throw in a show about polygamists to keep the public's interest.

While I've only see bits and pieces of Sister Wives, I will say the show really bothers me.  For one, I am a LDS (Mormon) and one of the greatest misconceptions about the LDS church is that we all practice polygamy.  Granted, that was the case many years ago, but as of 1890 the practice ceased and it has been that way ever since.

The other reason Sister Wives bothers me is because it takes place in Utah.  I was born and raised and currently live in Utah.  So, now this show, in my opinion, sheds a bad light on Utah.  I mean, these people are clearly violating civil law, and yet here they are, going about their daily routines on camera as if it is all normal and legal.  Oh, and let's throw in a paycheck while we're at it.

Apparently, there has been some talk about an investigation, but in terms of Kody and his four wives ever being prosecuted for breaking the law is highly unlikely. This is especially true when you consider that the children don't appear to be abused, specifically sexual abuse, which is too often the case with other polygamist families.

As for me, when it comes to this Kody guy, he's wrapping this lifestyle up in a nice little package labeled religion when all it really boils down to is having his cake and eating it too.

In the end, so long as viewers know that this lifestyle is not the norm in Utah and that the LDS church does not practice polygamy, I'm happy!

Thoughts?

what's IN an AGE?

"Where did you two meet, Amber Alert?

-Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock

Today's thought is about dating.  More specifically, the importance of age and dating.

I personally don't think age is that big of a deal.  If two people get along and like being with each other, who cares if one is 12 years older than the other?  Of course, there are a few exceptions.  For example, if a 30 year old guy is dating an 18 year old girl.  A girl who is technically not a "juvie,"  but basically still is.  That's kind of messed up to me.

Men dating younger women has always been normal.  No one really thinks much about it (well, unless it's an Anna Nicole Smith type marriage).  When a woman dates a younger man, however, it's headline news.  Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.  Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake.  The media was all over these two couples when they first got together, and it seemed as though everyone was talking about their age differences.

So, the real question is, when a woman dates a younger man, is it really all that interesting?  I mean, there's a new TV show on ABC called "Cougars" for crying out loud.  And it's a popular show.  But, seriously, what's the big deal?

Looking back on my own dating experiences, the majority of the guys I dated were always older than me.  Most were a few years older.  Some, a few months older.  My husband is 3 months, 2 days older than me.  And, as far as older guys goes, he's the youngest older guy I ever dated.  :)

I did go out on a few dates with a guy almost a year younger than me.  If I'm really honest with myself, I have to admit that the age difference did bug me.  I'm not really sure why it bugged me.  After all, my grandma is older than my grandpa.  My mom is older than my dad.  My sister is older than her husband.  Maybe it bothered me because this guy was kind of a loser and I'm not sure why I even gave him the light of day.  Not to say I'm this perfect person, but this guy really didn't have much to offer me.  He didn't challenge me intellectually or had the same drive that I did.  I guess that's why things didn't work out.

What do you all think about age and dating?  Is it a big deal to you?  Thoughts?

LANGUAGE barriers?

This thought was inspired by a Facebook page I recently saw titled:

"YOU came to OUR Country. YOU learn OUR language."

Before I dive into the good stuff, I want to make clear that this post is NOT about illegal immigration. I am NOT in support of people coming to the United States without proper documentation. I am NOT trying to justify why people cross the border illegally. This post is my thoughts about the Facebook page. Period.

With that said....

In 2005, my husband, Dustin, and I vacationed in Montreal, Quebec on our honeymoon. It was my first time visiting the Eastern side of Canada and I was excited to see a new part of the world.

As most of you probably know, Quebec's first language is French. After living in Montreal for two years, studying French in school (which included a 3 week course in France), Dustin was prepared to speak the language. Of course, because French was not his first language, any Quebequoi would know right away he wasn't local because of his accent. Nevertheless, he was prepared and fully capable to communicate in French. Because I didn't speak French, however, when it was just the two of us talking to each other we, obviously, would speak English.

Our first evening in Montreal, we went to a restaurant near our hotel. When we were greeted by the hostess, out of habit I said "hello" to her. Her entire demeanor changed and, based on her facial expression, there was no denying she was utterly annoyed. I could just imagine her thinking "Ah, stupid Americans!" She began speaking English and walked us to our table. When our waiter arrived, she spoke to us in English despite Dustin's attempts to convert to French. The service was awful and I felt like I was such a bother to everyone.

We experienced the same type of reaction almost every place we went. The Quebequoi refused to speak French with Dustin. At dinner, our waiters only came to our table when they absolutely had to (to get our order, to give us our food and to give us our check), and never asked us how we were doing, if we needed anything else, etc. It was so frustrating and I couldn't believe how horribly we were treated just because people assumed we couldn't speak French.

One day, we were in Quebec City. We just so happened to be in the city on a busy day when some festival was going on. While driving around, we got to an intersection where a policewoman was directing traffic. Dustin apparently did something that upset her, so she came to our car to talk to him (in French, go figure). She realized he had an accent which only made matters worse. For the next 10 - 15 minutes (and I'm totally not exaggerating), she made us wait at this intersection while she let all other directions go multiple times. Only until there was a huge line of cars behind us did she finally let us proceed.

Overall, it was a great trip. Quebec is a beautiful area. The architecture was amazing, and in some areas it looked like Europe. The pros of the trip definitely outweighed the cons, but I'll never forget the way we were treated.

Some of you may be thinking that I'm too sensitive and interpreted things incorrectly. Maybe the people were trying to be nice by conversing with us in English? Had I not been there myself, I probably would've thought the same thing. But, in these few examples it was very obvious the people did not like us.

Up until this trip, I had never been treated with such disrespect based on my nationality and language. I was floored by the experience and not because I expected everyone to conform to me (after all, I was the one who was in another country), but because everyone assumed we were unable to communicate with them in their primary language.

I immediately thought about my experience in Quebec when I saw the aforementioned Facebook page (which, by the way, three of my "friends" are "fans" of. I'm sure they'll get a kick out of this post). I couldn't help but wonder how many Mexicans, Hispanics, Latinos, etc. (because, let's face it, that page isn't referring to Europeans or Asians) that appear not to speak English actually do.

Is being bilingual a thing of the past?

Is it possible we are too quick to judge?

Thoughts?