DRESS wars

In January, Isabelle turned 8 years old.

Being eight is kind of a big deal because it means you can be baptized a member of our church.  Isabelle decided she wanted to be baptized, so we started to plan for the special day.

Traditionally, girls will wear pretty white dresses after they have been baptized.  It's not required (I wore a black dress after my baptism), but Isabelle expressed an interest in getting one, so I began the search for a dress she might like.

After a lot of online browsing, I went to an actual store to see some dresses in person.  I absolutely fell in love with the dress pictured above, top row, second from the right.  I loved the pleats and the simple broach on the waist. 

Not long after, I brought Isabelle to the store so she could try on the dress I knew she'd love.

With wide eyes, she glanced at all the dresses and focused in on one that I did not like at all.  I tried to redirect her attention to my favorite dress, but it didn't work.  Eventually, we took both into a dressing room and it was obvious which dress we'd end up buying.

Her face glowed and her smile was so genuine as she stared at herself in the mirror, wearing the dress she picked out.

The glow faded and the smile disappeared when she tried on anything else.

When we left the store, her smile had returned as we carried her favorite dress out to the car.  I, on the other hand, was disappointed and then felt guilty for letting it bother me.

On the day of her baptism, Isabelle looked beautiful.  She was wearing the dress that she loved so much, and I could tell she felt special.  

And that is what I ultimately wanted for her.

So, mission accomplished...just accomplished differently than I expected.

She'll only be LITTLE ONCE

I feel like I've been posting a lot about my house lately, but this is something I have been wanting to write about for awhile.

Pinterest is a really great tool for getting ideas for practically anything.  When my oldest daughter was growing out of her nursery and ready for a "big girl room" I went to Pinterest to get ideas on how I wanted her room to look.  I really wanted it to be light, bright and modern without an overload of characters - Disney Princesses, My Little Pony, etc.  I especially didn't want character bedding.

I pinned this picture and thought it was adorable.

Source

But, my daughter had a different idea.  She wanted My Little Pony Bedding.  She wanted her My Little Pony coloring pages displayed on her wall, and she organized and taped them on to her wall ALL BY HERSELF.  In a nutshell, she wanted her room to be a reflection of who she is, not who I am.  That's what MY room is for.

As much as I hoped for a Pinterest-worthy room, that's not how things were meant to be.  And, I'm learning that that is okay.  I'll probably frame her pictures just so they're protected a bit more, but other than that, the room will stay as is.  

She'll only be little once.

a change in PRIORITIES: {FAMILY dinner}

Shortly after LL was born, I found a new job.  I was so happy to go back to work after a brief hiatus.  The only downside was there was a three-hour gap between when I had to be at work and when Dustin got home.  So, we hired a baby-sitter.  It was a really good arrangement and was still cost effective for me to work despite having to pay a sitter.

A year later, I had the opportunity to change my hours and completely eliminate the need for a sitter.  Basically, I would leave for work the minute Dustin got home.  It also meant I would be gone during dinner time and not get home until after the girls were in bed.  It was a lot to think about, but ultimately, Dustin and I decided to give the new schedule a go.

A few months ago, it was obvious the schedule wasn't working for our family anymore.  The lack of quality time spent together was proving to be too much, and I knew something needed to change. 

Months prior, I had read a quote by Elder L. Tom Perry.  It read:

"Never let a day go by without holding family prayer and family scripture study.  Put this, the Lord's program to the test; and see if it does not bless your home with greater peace, hope, love, and faith."

This simple piece of advice kept entering my mind, and I knew incorporating family prayer and scripture study into our daily routine would be the key to positive change within our home.

So, even though it meant less income, I rearranged my schedule so that our family could eat dinner together every single night.  I also decided that dinnertime would be the perfect time to read the scriptures together.  It was also the perfect time to have our family prayer.

Our dinner begins at 4:30.  We all sit at the table, say our prayer, and while we eat, Dustin or I read the scriptures.  After dinner, we clean the kitchen together, spend what available time is left talking together, and then exactly one hour from when Dustin got home, I'm heading out the door.  The change was literally that basic.

Now, a few weeks later, I am in awe of the changes I have seen and felt in our home.  It is undeniable.  Truly, I have witnessed greater peace, hope, love, and faith - just as Elder Perry described.

Now, full disclosure, when I say "read the scriptures together" I really mean "read a scripture together."  And, LL is usually only involved in the process long enough to look at her dinner, decide it looks revolting and immediately retreat to her room to play.  Please don't mistake our hour of quality time as perfect.  Because it's not, and it never will be.

But, the point is, we're trying.

How thankful I am for the small and simple things of life.  They really do make all the difference.

 

{#picturedaboveisnotourfamily}

the's NO PLACE like HOME

For my daughter's sixth birthday, Dustin and I took her to Disneyland for the first time.  It was the perfect time to go because we could escape the cold Utah weather and she wouldn't miss a day of school.

The part I was dreading the most, the long drive from SLC to Anaheim ended up being the best part of the entire trip.

My daughter greatly disliked Disneyland with the exception of meeting the princesses and fairies.

In all fairness, the park was extremely busy.  And, with all the many things to see and do, after an hour into our second day, she had reached  her limit.  As we made our way back to the hotel, I thought about all the time and money we invested into this trip, hoping it would be a wonderful birthday weekend, only to be disappointed with her lack of enthusiasm. 

Every year, I take my girls' pictures at the exact moment they were born.  Back in the hotel room, I compared the picture of from this year to the one from the year before.  Exhaustion and stress at Disneyland.  Complete joy at our house.

Luckily, I had a friend in the area that had an annual pass to Disneyland, so while Dustin and Isabelle spent the day in the hotel I went back to the park with her.  It definitely was not how I planned the trip to go, but ultimately that's how things worked out.

Dustin sent me pictures of them hanging at the hotel, and Isabelle was the happiest she'd been all weekend.  I'd always known her to be a home body, but I didn't think she'd pick home over the so-called Happiest Place on Earth.

I suppose you could argue I have an ungrateful child, and to a certain extent you may be right.  However, I took away so much more from this trip than I ever expected.  I learned that my daughter does not need much to be happy.  In fact, less really is more in her eyes.  I also learned that there's no other place Isabelle would rather be than at home.

And, I guess, that's not really bad thing.

In the meantime, we'll save our pennies and keep birthdays here low-key and in the comfort of our own home.

{#homeisthehappiestplaceonearth}

THINGS that made me SMILE this week

Most mornings, I wake up looking like this

Not only looking, but feeling beautiful and ready to conquer the world

However, completely out of the blue and totally random, one day this week, I awoke from my peaceful slumber looking a bit more like this

So, naturally, I ate a piece of cake for breakfast.

As I was enjoying my healthy breakfast, my two-year old daughter, LL, approached me with a smile.  She gently caressed my hair with her small hand, looked directly into my eyes and said, "You look so pretty, Mama!"

Is there really anything more to life than that?

Another day, my oldest daughter, Isabelle, found her set of toy instruments.  She began walking around the house playing the Triangle.  You know, the Triangle.  There's usually only one Triangle instrument per orchestra because there's no need for more than one.  One is plenty loud. 

Eventually, she made her way into the office where I was taking care of a few things on the computer.

Literally inches from my ear, she asked excitedly, "Can you hear me?!"

I immediately stopped what I was doing and reassured her that, yes, I could hear her playing just fine all while trying so hard not to laugh out loud.

...

And these, my friends, {#johnmccain} are just two examples of things that made me smile this week.

a {DAY}

 I keep this note in my phone.  Obviously, November 19th was a bad day, but I honestly don't remember any of the details of how things went down.

Unfortunately, I still have days like this.  I imagine every mom does.

And the thing that never ceases to amaze me is that even though, logically, I know I'm not alone when it comes to the hardships of raising children - emotionally, I always feel like there's no one else who understands what I'm going through.

And even though I allow my daughters to influence me to feel like the worst person in the world, one millisecond of bliss within our home can make up for a week of obstacles.  And suddenly I'm the best mom in the world.

Motherhood truly is fascinating.  I'll never master it.

{#hardest #job #ever}

my TWO THOUGHTS

Last Saturday, the dread of the upcoming day was sinking in.  Sunday.  The hardest day of the week was fast approaching, and I had a very important decision to make.  I could deal with it, or I could run away from it.

I've blogged a lot about how difficult it has been for me to take my children to church.  It doesn't seem to matter how much I prepare, I always manage to forget something that apparently my children can't live without and can't possibly be well-behaved unless it is in their possession.

Sunday morning came and I was wrestling with myself as I tried to come up with a legitimate excuse as to why we could stay home from church.  Dustin for sure had to go because of his church responsibilities, but certainly there was a reason I could stay home.

As a pondered what to do, two thoughts kept entering my mind.  The first was, "just deal with it."  The second was, "trust me."

I made the decision to go to church and "just deal" with whatever happened.  I also, in some strange way, knew this week would prove to be different.

I arrived to church, armed with every snack and coloring instrument known to man.  I found a bench close to the organ so the girls could watch Dustin play during sacrament meeting.  As the meeting began, I watched as my children sat quietly and contently.  They colored and requested snacks, and I managed to keep them contained for a good 30 minutes.  A big change from the last few months!

Eventually, though, we did make our way to the hallway, but the day was already shaping up to be better than the many weeks prior.  While in the hallway, my girls wanted to run around and be free, but I remained firm with them and they stayed by my side almost the entire time.

After sacrament meeting, Isabelle complained about going to primary.  I snapped my fingers and told her to go. And she went.  I'm sure I seemed like a a mean mom to the people around me, but I didn't care.  I was going to get through the entire three hours of church if it killed me!

My next stop was taking LL to nursery.  Up until this point, she had refused to go and screamed and cried until I eventually gave up and took her home.  This week, I did a few things that I hoped would help her overcome her fear.  First, as I was getting her ready in the morning, I added a few drops of lavender to her lotion and rubbed it all over her body.  I also added the same oil to her favorite blanket.  At this point, I was willing to do ANYTHING to see some progress.

When we arrived at the nursery room, she got upset and began to cry.  But then she noticed some toys, so I put her down and she began to play.  I quietly stepped out of the room.  I found a chair to sit in and listened.  Sure enough, she began to cry.  I knew the nursery leaders would bring her to me if it got too bad, so I remained in my chair and listened.  After ten minutes, the crying stopped.  And it never started back up again.

Eventually, I went to Relief Society for the first time in awhile.  It was lovely to be at church, sitting by my friend and knowing every member of my family was where he/she needed to be.

As I left church, I reflected upon the thoughts I had had earlier that day:  "just deal with it" and "trust me."  I really believe those were inspired messages.  On the one hand, I believe it was time for me to "just deal" with the weekly struggles of church with kids.  There are worse things in life that I could be dealing with, and since I know going to church is the right thing to do, I may as well go and make the best of it.

After spending the week thinking about my second thought, "trust me," I came to the realization that I don't think I actually had true faith that Heavenly Father would answer my prayers.  Each week I would plead with Him to help me understand how to help my children behave in church, and each
week I felt as if He never heard my prayer.

But, obviously, I know He did.  He just didn't answer it the way I wanted Him too.  Or, maybe I wasn't giving Him enough time to answer.  Regardless, I was given a firm reminder that simply knowing my prayers CAN be answered does not equal having faith that they WILL be answered.

Of course, this isn't the first time I've been humbled by God when it comes to this situation.  {If I haven't told that story, I will soon!}

But, hopefully, I've learned my lesson.  And the lesson I took away from this special Sunday was this:
No day will ever go exactly the way I want.

There really is a difference between belief and faith.

 And, if it's hard doing the right thing, you do it anyway and you just deal with it.

the IMPORTANCE of being KIND

On Monday morning, I volunteered at my daughter's school to help with reading.  When I arrived at the school, I was told to check-in at the office.  As I was checking in, which was all done on a computer in the corner of the main office, I heard my daughter's voice.  I glanced behind me and saw her speaking to the school secretary.  She explained that her friend, who was standing next to her, had hurt herself during recess and needed ice for her cheek.

It wasn't until then that she turned and saw me sitting at the nearby computer.  We said hi to each other as the secretary told the girls that ice was available outside with the recess duty.  I motioned for her to follow the instructions, so she and her friend dashed out of the office on to their next destination.

In that moment, I couldn't help but be proud of my little girl for a few reasons.  I was proud she took the initiative to take her friend to the office and was confident enough to talk to the secretary.  But, mostly I was proud that she was being a good friend and that she showed concern and kindness towards one of her classmates.

It is easy for me to overlook the more gentle attributes my daughter displays.  I encourage her to do things on her own and for herself, and I know I put too much stock in her becoming independent and strong.  

This experience reminded me to reinforce the importance of kindness, thoughtfulness and courtesy to my children.  And I'm grateful for my daughter's example because if she can do it, I can do it!

the MODEST girl

I recently read a post on Facebook written by someone I don't know that went along these lines:

 "Parents, please make sure your daughter dresses modestly so my son doesn't get addicted to pornography."

{Ok, so that is a slight exaggeration}

But, it may as well been that blatant of a statement, which, by the way, infuriated me.

Regardless, I decided that, as a mother of two girls, I better get on this request of making sure my daughters are dressed a certain way.  So, I added it to my current To-Do list:

Monday: Take pictures of my daughters' wardrobe.  Send pictures to parents of boys for approval
{Note to self:  Research the most affordable place to buy pantsuits}

Tuesday:  Have a sit-down with my daughters.  Reiterate the importance of understanding the changes the male body experiences during puberty.  Make sure they understand how sensitive we should be towards our male friends.  

{Note to self: buy more tampons and Midol}

Wednesday:  Send an e-mail to Macy's, Nordstrom, etc., asking them when their new line of prom dresses with high-necks and sleeves will be in stock.  Find a full day to go dress shopping. 

{Note to self:  hire a good seamstress}

Thursday:   Take that first leap of faith by letting my daughter walk to a friends house by herself.  But first, review the family "code" word.  Buy some more pepper spray.
{Note to self:  Research self-defense classes}

Friday:   Encourage daughters to get good grades, and tell them I hope they plan to attend college.  Help them understand that exercising their minds is just as important as exercising their bodies.
{Note to self:  Research how to teach your daughter that looks are not the most important thing while simultaneously teaching her that she needs to look a certain way.}

...

Don't get me wrong.  I understand the basic principle behind the original post.  I have standards for my daughters and do not think they should be allowed to wear whatever they want.  And I'll do my best to make sure that when they leave my house they are dressed in a manner that I deem appropriate.

But, the bottom line is this:

It is not my responsibility, nor my daughters' responsibility, to make sure your son does not engage in anything improper or immoral, be it actions or thoughts.

That's your responsibility.  

But, mostly, it's his responsibility.

So, if you could take the state of your son's morality off my plate of things to do, I'd really appreciate it.

{#ohsnap!}

MUSIC mondays: BOY BANDS

Like millions of other Americans, my husband and I took our daughter Isabelle to see Frozen.  She didn't like it at first, but that slowly changed.  Before I could blink, our world had turned ice-cold and the only music I was listening to was the Frozen soundtrack.

After months and months of this, I decided it was time to introduce my daughter to her first boy band.  Yes, she's five years old.  That is how completely desperate I was to listen to something new.

Even though I grew up loving New Kids of the Block and pretending to hate Backstreet Boys and 'Nsync, I decided Isabelle needed her first boy band love to be current.  So, I bought two One Direction songs.  Namely, Story of My life and Best Day Ever.

It was a rough at first, but eventually Isabelle learned to love the greatness of boy band music.  And, now that I've had a break, I don't mind hearing her belt Let it Go every once in awhile.

CUSTOM-MADE spirituality

I've blogged a lot about the struggles I face taking my children to church.  There was the post about why we skipped church {and loved it} and the follow-up post about why I even go to church to begin with.  Even though I know I am not alone with my struggles with taking children to church, I usually feel alone each week as I find myself, yet again, dealing with an uncooperative child.

Church used to be a time where I could go to feel uplifted and renewed, ready to face a new week with a stronger conviction to do what is right.

Church isn't that way for me anymore.  And I miss it!  But, I realize this situation is only temporary and things will get better eventually; however, until that blessed time arrives, I made the decision to find ways to feel the way I used to during church outside of church.

One of the ways in which I've incorporated spirituality into my daily life is by listening to general conference talks in my car.  I have found great satisfaction, peace and comfort in doing this.  It is amazing how the spirit can be felt at almost any time and any place.

LDS Conference Center

Here are a few of the talks I've listened to:

President Gordon B. Hinckley's address titled To the Women of the Church

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's address titled Happiness, Your Heritage 

Sister Julie B. Beck's address titled Fulfilling the Purpose of Relief Society

and all the talks given at this month's General Women's Meeting

So, if you find yourself missing Sunday as being a day of rest and spiritual edification, I would invite you to think outside the box and find ways in which you can reap the benefits of feeling the spirit no matter what day it is.

This has made a world of difference for me.  I feel happier, more energized and a stronger desire to be the best person I can be.

the END of an ERA

Shortly after Isabelle was born, I decided to quit my job.  It was around that time that I realized how much of my self-identity was wrapped up in my work.  It took me awhile to get used to the idea of not having an answer to the always fun question, "What do you do?" or having to put a checkmark next to the "Homemaker" {#gag} option on mortgage applications.  Over the years, I've learned how to deal with not working full-time all while still feeling like a contributing member of society.

However, I find myself feeling somewhat the same as I enter a new phase in my life.  This is a very exciting phase, one that I never thought possible, but that doesn't take away the weird feeling of leaving a part of me behind.

Two months ago, I got my learners permit.  Yes, at the ripe old age of nearly 33 years old, I will, in a few weeks, be eligible to become a licensed driver for the first time ever.  I'll spare the details as to why I've never driven before because it's health related {#seizuressuck}, and it's not really relevant to this post.

Not being able to drive has been something that has defined me in so many ways.  Driving has always been my greatest fear.  It has restricted me beyond belief.  It has been the source of much stress.  But it has also allowed me to see the kindness and goodness in other people as I have had to rely heavily on friends and family for many, many years to get from point A to point B.

After consulting with my neurologist and having been seizure-free for 3 months, I decided it was time to conquer my fear and learn to drive.  I don't think I could have ever done it without the inspiration of my two daughters.  It was for them that I did this.  Learning to drive meant I didn't have to worry about things I constantly worried about.  Things that other people probably never thought twice about:  How will I get my kids to school?  What happens if they get sick or forget something and I need to get to their school quickly?  What if they want to go to a friends house?  How will I get them to dance or music lessons?

And the list goes on and on on.

Growing up, my mom drove me everywhere.  I have no idea how we would've functioned as a family had my mom not been able to drive.  I had nightmares {ok, not actual nightmares} of my children resenting me for not being able to take them places.  I knew my not being able to drive would have a large impact on their lives, and I didn't want that.  I didn't want to be an embarrassment to them, but I especially didn't want to inhibit them in any way.

And so I'm learning to drive.  And things are going well.  Being able to get into a car and drive a few blocks to the grocery store is one of the greatest luxuries ever.  Not having to worry about how I will get somewhere, anywhere is a feeling I can't describe.  All the planning, the organizing, the inconveniencing is gone.  

It's simply gone. 

I honestly never thought this day would come.  And I'll always be grateful to my Isabelle and LL for inspiring me to be strong and courageous.

After all, driving is easy.

{#neverthoughtidsaythat}

MUSIC mondays: ANYTHING

"I can be anything."

-Anything, Sofia the First

Isabelle is a big fan of the show Sofia the First.  Like I said in my previous post, she loves princesses.  The show is about a little girl named Sofia whose mother marries the king and whose life suddenly goes from living in a village to being a royal princess.

I actually don't mind the show all that much.  Each episode carries a good message and Sofia is a decent character and nowhere near as annoying as Dora.  I also like the show because it has music, and since Isabelle loves to sing I ended up buying her the entire soundtrack to the series.

Some of the songs are very specific to the episode, while others carry a deeper message about Sofia's quest to be a great princess and her new way of life.

One song called Anything is one of Isabelle's favorites and she loves to sing it all the time.  It has a great message about how each of us can be anything that we want, and the episode in which it is featured is when Sofia is trying out for the flying derby team despite everyone's objections because usually only princes are on the team.

Here's part of the song.

I try to share music that I think is appropriate for kids and not super annoying to parents because some of the stuff out there is brutal to listen to over and over and over again.

  I really like this song because I think it has a great message for everyone.

If you're looking for some new music for your kids to listen to, be sure to check out this soundtrack!

the PRINCESS DILEMMA

If you didn't hear about the big commotion regarding Pixar's Brave character Merida I guess I'm not that surprised.  In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't too big of deal.  But, in order for this post to make any sense to you, you need to know a few of the details.

A few weeks ago, Merida was inducted into the ever inclusive Disney Princess Club.  As part of her induction, Disney gave her a little bit of a make-over.

Source

Obviously, the princess club Merida was much more sexy, slimmer and without her most prized possession - the bow and arrow. 

Thousands were outraged by the change, claiming that Merida was the first Disney princess that was different.  The first Disney princess that wasn't about beauty and whose only hope in life wasn't to meet her handsome prince.  The first Disney princess that was actually worth admiring.

A petition was started.  Thousands of signatures were collected.  The petition demanded Disney restore Merida to her original settings.  And, after a few days, that's exactly what happened.  The official Disney princess website was changed and Merida was once again portrayed just as she did in her feature film.

So, here's my dilemma.

I am raising a little girl that loves princesses.  She adores them all:  Rapunzel, Cinderella, Tiana, Ariel, Belle, Mulan, Sleeping Beauty, Merida, etc.  She owns many of the princess dresses and would wear them 24/7 if I let her.

As I watch my little girl prance around our house in her dresses and then think about the outrage over Merida's makeover, I find myself conflicted.  I wonder, "Am I setting my daughter up for complete and utter doom by letting her love and adore princesses?  Is she going to grow up feeling like the only thing that matters in life is how you look?"

And then I think about the stories behind some of these princesses:

Belle is an outcast in the village where she lives.  She prefers to read and seeks adventure.  She refuses a marriage proposal from the most dashing, handsome man in town.  She supports and defends her father even when everyone else makes fun of him, and, she ultimately sacrifices her freedom to save his life.  She eventually falls in love with the Beast because, despite his appearance, she has learned that he is kind and gentle and caring.

Cinderella is treated horribly by her family.  She is a slave in her own home.  Despite the cruelty she endures, she always has a positive attitude.  In the end, her dream of a better life comes true, illustrating that, despite the difficulties we may have now, things can turn out for the better.

Ariel dreams of a different life.  She has a curious nature and wants to learn everything she can about life above the sea.  She is rebellious, knows what she wants in life and makes sure she gets it.

Mulan lives in a country where tradition means everything, and where women are viewed as worthless.  Because she is not male, the only way she can bring honor to her family is by getting married.  Even though she wants to honor her father and mother, she knows she has more to offer than just being "a little wife."  Despite the risk of being killed, she disguises herself as a man and takes her father's place in the Chinese army.  After a lot of hard work and determination, she eventually becomes a great soldier and brings honor to her family all while remaining single.

Are all the princesses mentioned above beautiful?

Yes.

  Does that make their stories any less meaningful?

No.

I don't want my daughters to grow up thinking the most important thing in life is to be beautiful, but I also don't want them thinking being beautiful is bad.

I want my daughters to know that, regardless of physical appearance, everyone has strengths, weaknesses, dreams and fears.  No one is exempt from times of happiness or difficulties.  And, even though no two people are exactly alike, it is safe to assume everyone has similar, basic needs and desires.  And because of all of this, it is important to treat everyone with kindness and dignity.

When my oldest daughter finds herself feeling insecure about her appearance, will I think back on this time and say, "I never should've let her wear that Rapunzel dress everyday!"  My guess is, no.  Everyone feels "less than" at some point in their life.  It's just apart of life.

And it's not that it happens that matters.  It's how you handle it that is the most important.

Does this mean I am indifferent about Merida's makeover?  Of course not.  It was ridiculous for Disney to change her appearance.  (However, I should mention that all of the princesses on the website have been altered in some way, begging the question as to why no one has gotten all up in arms about that.  But, that's besides the point.)  All I'm trying to say is that loving princesses isn't all that bad, and that we should focus more of our concerns on why people like the cast of The Jersey Shore and the Kardashians are so popular.

In the end, I'm glad that people took a stand for something they felt strongly about and won!  It just goes to show that your voice can be heard, even when you're going up against huge corporations. I'm glad to have a daughter that loves to wear dresses, play make believe and who whole-heartedly embraces her femininity and thinks pants are for boys.

And, I'm glad that, thanks to Merida, she can't wait to get her own bow and arrow.

INSTAGRAM wednesdays: her HAIR

There's a really good chance that I totally and completely LOVE my daughter's hair.

I think it's so beautiful.

to each HER OWN

When my oldest daughter was born, I pretty much learned that I had no idea how to raise a child.  I read a lot, asked a lot of questions and relied heavily on my intuition.  When it came to getting her on a good sleeping schedule my days were filled with a lot of trial and error.

Pretty soon, I found something that worked.  She was sleeping through the night at 4 weeks!  And, she was napping very regularly at least twice a day, for at least 3 hours each time.  I found myself with an unusually large amount of free time given the fact that I had a new baby.

When my latest bundle of joy arrived, I was committed to trying out my same sleeping strategies with her.  And, it worked!  She slept through the night at less than 2 weeks old.  I informed her pediatrician about her amazing sleep habits and she told me so long as she was peeing and pooing regularly, I didn't have to worry about waking her up during the night.

Over the next few weeks, things were pretty smooth sailing at night.  She was going to bed at a good time, only waking up once for a feeding and easily fell back asleep until the morning.

Nap time was a completely different story.  I couldn't get her on a schedule and I found myself wondering if she was going to be a no-nap little girl.  And that just seemed so wrong to me.  Kids needs naps!  I was determined to get her on a good schedule by doing the exact same thing I did with her big sister.  It worked then.  It should work now.

Then things got worse.  She completely fought going to bed.  She was waking up shortly after being put down.  She woke up multiple times during the night.  And, all of this was going on while she continued to not nap during the day.

I decided to face reality.  My methods were not working with this little one.  I thought about all the things I had tried with my first daughter that didn't work.  I wondered if they would work now.  It just seemed so weird that what SOO did not work with one child would easily work with another.

Then, on Mother's Day, I got sick.  I'm pretty sure it was vertigo.  It kicked in later in the day.  By the time it was ready to get the girls down for bed, I was completely useless.  I could barely walk because everything was spinning.  I told my husband all I could do was go to bed, leaving him in charge of getting the kids to bed.  While in bed, I could hear him struggling with both girls.  Both seemed to be fussy and uncooperative.  Eventually, he got the oldest one in bed.  That just left the baby.  She wasn't responding to the usual routine, so I told him to just put her in her bed and let her cry.  Nothing else was working, and I felt comfortable that she was old enough for the cry-it-out method.

So, he put her down and she began to cry.  And cry.  And cry.  And cry.  I told myself I wouldn't let it go on for longer than 30 minutes.  Despite her crying, I could tell she was fine and just crying out of sheer exhaustion.  Dustin first put her in bed at 9:59.  The crying stopped at 10:32.  And she slept through the night.

Because that had gone so well, I decided to try it for nap time.  Isabelle, my oldest, refused to nap in her crib, so she napped in her swing and LOVED it.  This time around, the swing was less than thrilling. 

To my surprise, nap time went splendidly well.  She cried minimally and slept for hours.

That night, she cried for only 20 minutes.  The next night, 15 minutes.  And last night, she didn't make a peep!  And, nap time, has continued to be a success.   She has never napped this consistently her entire life!

I've learned a very important less this week:  my daughters are not the same.  Even at their young ages, they already have their own personalities, their own likes and dislikes and their own preference in sleeping patterns.  What works for one, doesn't necessarily work for the other.

And in order to make my life a little more sane, I need to embrace their differences and not be so rigid in how I go about doing things.

I know we'll have our not-so-fun nights again.  I know all phases, whether good or bad, don't always last, but at least now I am more aware of my daughters' differences.

And being aware is a very good thing.

a GOOD THING

After awhile, the comments regarding how much my daughter's life was going to change began to overwhelm me.  On the one hand, I was so excited to welcome a new baby girl into our family.  But, at the same time, I felt extremely guilty at the idea of turning Isabelle's world upside down.

How could I do this to my little girl?

As ashamed as I am to admit it, I began having doubts about whether or not having another child was a good idea.  Obviously, we were going to have another child either way, but I sincerely questioned my ability to handle all the challenges that were waiting for me.

But then something wonderful happened.  You hear women say all the time that they felt an immediate bond with their child the second he/she was born.  I didn't feel that at all with my first daughter, but I did with my second.  It was very unexpected and surprising.

I remember feeling how grateful I was that she was healthy and that I was finally able to hold her in my arms.  As I looked at her in awe, an overwhelming feeling came over me that this was right.  Despite the difficulties ahead, her arrival was no mistake.  This is what was suppose to happen and it was a very, very good thing for our family.

It's now been a month since the birth of our little girl.  Isabelle has come such a long way and genuinely enjoys her little sister.  Things aren't perfect and I still struggle with how to manage it all, but I know things are how they are suppose to be.

And that makes the hard times worthwhile and the good times that much better.

ADJUSTMENT mode

My life has completely changed.  

I have spent the last several weeks preparing for our new bundle of joy.

And now she's here.  And she's perfect.

We're still in adjustment mode, though, especially my sweet Isabelle.  She's trying her very best to be brave, but sometimes she gets overwhelmed.  It's heartbreaking to watch her struggle and to hear her say she doesn't like being at home because it's "weird."

Dustin planned a few fun outings to do with her which I think made her feel extra special; however, if there's anything I've learned in the past week it's that no outing or activity can compensate for discomfort in the home.  And making sure our house is a happy and positive and safe haven for my girls is my ultimate goal in life.

So, that's what I'm focusing on right now:  making sure that our home is as a place of peace and comfort.  It's not easy, and will be even more difficult when Dustin goes back to work.  But, I'm confident with a lot of thought I can do it!

I consider this an exciting time in my life and hope I can find time to blog more about it.

"go, MOM"

Last week Isabelle participated in her first dance recital.  It was a really great day, and I was so incredibly proud of her.

When we arrived at the school where the recital was to be held, I took her to the room where all the dancers had to check-in.  I found the other girls from her class and took her to where they were sitting.  It was so adorable to see all these little girls dressed in the same costume with their hair and makeup all perfect.  They all seemed so excited.

I learned soon after that an older dancer would be in charge of the girls so the parents could sit in the auditorium and enjoy the show.  Given Isabelle's history with stranger anxiety, I was a bit hesitant to leave her alone.  But, I was sort of given the impression that I needed to leave.  And I wanted to leave, so that didn't bother me. 

I put my arm around Isabelle and told her to stay with her friends and showed her the girl that would be looking after her.  Her reaction?

"Ok, go now, Mom."

I was a little taken back by her response.  So, I clarified and said, "You want me to leave?"

And she said, "Yes, go now, Mom."

With a smile on my face, I stood up, told Isabelle I loved her and proceeded to exit the room.

Some moms would probably be mortified if their daughter told them to leave them alone, especially when the daughter is not quite four years old.  But, that's not the case for me.  Any parent that has dealt with a child with extreme stranger anxiety would probably agree the moment your child appears to outgrow the issue is a day to celebrate.  At least, that's the case for me.

I found my family in the auditorium and told Dustin what Isabelle said to me.  We both had a good chuckle about it, and he, too, agreed it was a wonderful thing for her to say.

As I watched my little girl walk onto the stage, seeming completely unimpressed by the packed auditorium, even waving to everyone, I was so happy for her.  She did a wonderful job dancing, looking absolutely graceful at times, and I couldn't help but wonder if this was the beginning of a long road for her and dancing.

No matter what the future holds, I'll always be so grateful for the moment Isabelle told me to "go."  

BABBABOX project

Isabelle and I had a great opportunity to do a project thanks to the wonderful people at BabbaBox.  

We received this great box in the mail and couldn't wait to see what was all inside.  To our delight, our box was all based on the theme Sun, Moon and Stars.  

It came with two different projects for us to complete,

a storybook, 

and a set of binoculars.  

In other words, everything any child could want to learn more about the universe!

Isabelle really wanted to create her own constellation.  She's really into stars and stickers, so it was the perfect activity for her.  The best part, I didn't have to get anything.  BabbaBox had all the tools and supplies necessary to complete the project along with step-by-step instructions.

Isabelle loved the stickers and creating her own constellation.

Now, I should mention that BabbaBox wasn't able to provide one crucial ingredient for this project and that was the sun.  I waited and waited and waited for the sun to shine, but alas I was stuck with overcast days.  Isabelle had her heart set on this project, so I decided to do what I could to still make it a success by using what light I had in the house.

Here she is immersing her project in water.

Letting it dry.

Isabelle taking advantage of the coloring pages while we waited for everything to dry.

In the end, our project didn't go completely according to plan, but we had a great experience trying.  And sometimes that's the best part!

What I loved most about BabbaBox is the convenience of it all.  I literally had everything I needed to spend a few quality hours with my daughter delivered right to my doorstep.  I always intend to do crafts with Isabelle, but I always find myself not having what is needed on hand.  

Thanks BabbaBox!

...

BabbaBox is a theme-based box delivered to your door that allows you to enjoy a little convenience and inspiration! As any parent can attest, the most important thing you can give to your child is quality time. BabbaBox makes this possible by helping you to save time, money, & mindspace.

Just think! Fantastic monthly activities with ALL the materials for kids ages 3-6. Included in the box are 3 projects + 1 bestselling book + digital download + parent surprise gift!

The best part? Babbabox makes a GREAT unique gift during the holiday season.

Act now! Get 50% off your first month when you sign up for a monthly membership using the code, SWAY100. Offer expires December 31, 2012.

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of BabbaBox. The opinions and text are all mine.