WHAT'S in a NAME?

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

-Romeo & Juliet

Several years ago, I was experimenting with a new medication for my epilepsy.  Dustin and I had decided we wanted to have a child, and my current medication was not recommended for women who were pregnant or trying to get pregnant.

After a lot of trial and error, I began taking a new medication that not only controlled my seizures but also had the least serious side effects while taken while pregnant.  And, it wasn't long after that, that I found out I was pregnant.

Not long into my pregnancy, I went to the pharmacy to pick up a refill.  I noticed that the price of my prescription was significantly less than it had been before.  When I asked the pharmacist about the price difference, he said it was because I was given the generic, not name-brand, medicine.

I was confused and concerned about any changes being made while I was still pregnant, and promptly called my doctor.  I was told that the generic medicine had the same ingredients as the name-brand and was safe for me to consume.

I've been thinking about that experience a lot lately and how it relates to labels.

Everything in our life has a label.

Products are labeled.  People are labeled.  Places are labeled.

And we put a lot of stock into these labels.

Sometimes a label really does make a difference.  For example, spending $$$ on a table from West Elm will more than likely lead to owning a higher quality product as compared to a table you would buy from Target.

There is nothing wrong with wanting products from high quality companies, especially if your budget allows for it.

The problem with labels come when we use them to elevate our own status or worth.  Am I a better person because I own a table from West Elm as compared to the person that owns a table from Target.  The answer is, obviously, no.

I think it's sometimes hard to remember that.

Owning a certain product doesn't mean you're better or worse than somebody else.  It just means you own a certain product.

Product labels are one thing.  But, what about labels we put on ourselves or other people?

For example, politicians.  How likely are you to justify a political leader's behavior so long as they belong to the same political party as you?  From my perspective, we will justify or shrug off or accept or even deny facts so long as the leader is labeled correctly.

The same is true for our family members, friends, celebrities or well-respected community members like doctors. 

I happened upon a conversation on Facebook between a man running for mayor and a voter.  The man running for office had a lot of great things to say.  He had good ideas.  He was well-written and appeared to have a genuine concern for the city.  The voter was only interested in one thing:  what party the candidate belonged to.  It was obvious the voter would only consider this candidate's ideas or concerns legitimate so long as he belonged to the correct party.

The candidate eventually disclosed his political affiliation and the conversation was over.

Keep in mind, his ideas for the city had not changed.  He still meant what he said.  But, because he now had a labeled attached to him, he was either liked or disliked regardless of the details.

I don't think there's really any way around labels in general.  Certainly, not when it comes to products.  But, it would be nice to see some changes with labels when it comes to people.

Some people with all the right labels aren't necessarily good people making good decisions.

And some people with the less-than flattering labels aren't necessarily bad people making bad decisions.

Some labels are inevitable, like our race or ethnicity...unless you're that white woman living in Seattle.

Other labels, like being cool because you shop at Trader Joe's, are meaningless.  A great example of this is when some frozen food line was recalled from Trader Joe's and Walmart stores.  I had a good laugh at that one.

I'm trying really hard to look beyond the labels we give ourselves or other people.  Whether we're rich or poor, male or female, married or single or divorced, we all have value.  We all have strengths that are needed in our society.  And we all have weaknesses that other people can help us with.  We're more similar than we realize.

And, at the end of the day, whether name-brand or generic, I'm not having seizures.  

And that's all that matters to me!

solicitors WELCOME

Years ago, a 20-something man came to my door asking if I would like to purchase a magazine subscription.  When I politely declined his offer, I assumed our conversation would be over.  I was wrong.  We continued to talk and he asked if I was Mormon.  I told him I was.  He then told me that Mormons never buy subscriptions {clearly, he'd never heard of the Ensign, New Era, Friend or Liahona} and attempted to make me feel like I was not fulfilling my Christian duty by purchasing 12 months worth of Sports Illustrated.  Once he left my house, I spent the rest of the day being mad and frustrated that this person had so unfairly judged me.

I decided a NO SOLICITING sign would be a worthwhile purchase.  I contemplated where I'd put the sign so that it was noticeable, but not tacky.  After a few days, I gave up on the idea and resolved to just not answer the door the next time a solicitor came knocking.

Fast forward to today and I officially made the decision to never display a NO SOLICITING sign on my house. 

As mentioned above, I am Mormon.  Officially, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  For the sake of simplicity, I'll refer to myself as LDS and my religion as "the church."

As of December 31, 2016, there were over 70,000 LDS missionaries serving worldwide.  Missionary service is strongly recommended for all able young men beginning at the age of 18 (after completing high school or its equivalent).  Young men (referred to as Elders) serve for up to two years.  They have no official say in where they serve, they pay their own way, and, besides weekly e-mails, they do not contact their families except for on Christmas and Mother's Day.  Young women are welcomed to serve missions beginning at age 19 for up to 18 months.

We Mormons love our missionaries.  We take pride in the fact that we send our young people all across the world to preach about the gospel of Jesus Christ.  We love the missionary program so much that when the Broadway play The Book of Mormon hit the scene {you know, the play that mocks missionaries, an entire religion with over 15 million members, and then some} the church simply made this one official statement:

"The production may attempt to entertain audiences for an evening, but the Book of Mormon as a volume of scripture will change people's lives forever by bringing them closer to Christ."

When the production made it's way to Los Angeles, the church bought space in the playbill with ads like "the book is always better" and "you've seen the play, now read the book."  Considering the importance of the Book of Mormon and the missionary efforts to those of the LDS faith, these responses were pretty brilliant.

See, so not even an offensive, perverted, vulgar, yet acclaimed, Tony Award winning production brought to you by the same industry that demands inclusion from Mike Pence can sway us from sending out and loving our missionaries. {To be clear, #I'mWithHer}

But, here's the ironic part of it all.  Missionaries are solicitors.  One of the ways they meet, connect and eventually teach people is by going door-to-door.  Missionaries, of course, can and do meet people under different circumstances, but the fact remains that most of them knock on doors in hopes of finding someone who will listen to them.

My parents both served missions in Germany.  My husband served a mission in Canada.  All three of them went door-to-door practically everyday.  How, then, can I openly deny solicitors at my own house?

Believe me, I've thought of a plethora of reasons how to justify displaying a sign:  it's illegal, it's dangerous, it's inconvenient, people make cute signs now (seriously, google "Cute No Soliciting Signs") so I don't have to worry about my house looking tacky, etc.

But, then I think about my parents, my husband and the thousands of missionaries currently serving for a religion that I belong to.  When I think about them, an outward, physical declaration denying solicitors on my house just seems......unnecessary.  Wrong even.

I know I'm probably in the minority when it comes to this.

But, at the end of the day, I feel best inside when I say, "Solicitors, Welcome."

my FAVORITE way to use OILS

One of my goals for the month is to cook dinner at least four times a week.  For those of you who cook dinner every night, this goal may seem super simple.  But, for me, it's a challenge.

I absolutely love Indian food, specially chicken tikka masala.  I would love to make it from scratch, but I rarely have all of the ingredients at home.

I managed to find a decent sauce in a jar.  Blasphemy, I know.  Ina would be so disappointed in me.  Regardless, it's a family favorite and easy to prepare.

The only thing I don't like about Indian food is that it leaves a lasting smell in my house.  As great as it tastes, I don't want to smell it for the rest of the evening.

{I may have a slight obsession with how my house smells.}

Insert:  essential oils.  

I realize everyone knows someone who uses essential oils.  Please don't mistake this post for some ringing endorsement for doTERRA or essential oils in general.  I like oils, and I use them daily.  But, to be honest, I use them mostly to help my house smell awesome.

My go-to blend is Purify, Lemon, Lime and Wild Orange.  I could diffuse those oils together all day long.  And, I usually do, especially after eating a dinner like chicken tikka masala.

I also use Lemon and Wild Orange to wipe down my countertops.

And, I make my own air fresheners by blending Wild Orange and Peppermint. 

Let me tell you, my house smells AHH-MAA-ZING.

And, as a side note, someone once asked me why my house doesn't smell like I have dogs.  I honestly don't know why my house doesn't smell like dogs because we have two little fluffys who are usually always inside.  It could be the breed.  Or, it could be that the main living area of our house is pretty open.  Like I said, I don't know.  But, it's possible the oils help eliminate the smell.

So, if you're in the market for make-my-house-smell-good products, give oils a try!  Everyone will have an opinion about what brand of oils to use, and I'm not here to convince you of one brand over the other.  But, I am a satisfied doTERRA user.

If you use oils, please pass along your favorites.  I also enjoy trying out new blends.

INITIAL reactions

Several months ago, I read an article that had been shared by a friend on Facebook about what traits parents of successful kids all have in common.  According to the article, the traits ranged from having a college degree to learning math at an early age.

One trait in particular stood out to me:  a working mother.

After reading the article, I went back to Facebook and reviewed the comments.  Everyone loved all of the traits, and agreed with them, with the exception of the working mom.

I didn't know any of the women that made comments.  I barely knew the friend that posted the article to begin with.  But, because of their comments, I allowed myself to make all sorts of assumptions about them.  And what I assumed was not too great.

I consider myself a working mother.  While I am in no way the bread winner of our family, I work five days a week and contribute to our family's income.  I work to make money, of course, but also because I enjoy the satisfaction I get from completing a task that is separate from my motherhood responsibilities.

I took my anger and frustration to my blog and wrote a post criticizing these women for their comments about working moms.  But, before I published my thoughts, my mind was suddenly filled with doubt.  I started to wonder if the assumptions I had made about these women had any merit at all.

What I heard these women say was, "Successful children are not raised by working moms."  

But, maybe they meant, "Stay-at-home moms raise successful children, too."

I had a variety of different thoughts race through my mind.  I wish I could articulate how my perspective on this article, on the comments changed within a short period of time.  It really was a remarkable experience.  

And, basically, what I learned is this:

My reaction to something is not necessarily a reflection of intent.

I can think whatever I want, but that doesn't mean that I'm right.

Living in a world where it is so simple to respond to virtually anything within a matter of seconds, it's easy not to get caught up in our initial reaction.  

And sometimes our initial reactions are spot on.  

And sometimes they're not.

And so long as we're all aware of that, I think we'll all be okay.

a NOTE from me, a supposed SORE LOSER

"And to all the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and to achieve your own dreams."

-Hillary Clinton

As it became more and more obvious that Donald Trump was going to win the 2016 Presidential Election, feelings of shock overwhelmed me.  Complete and utter shock.  And as soon as the shock set in, so did my grief.

And my grief resulted in tears.  Lots and lots and lots of tears.

It's important to me that you know that I was completely surprised by my reaction.  I never expected to feel such pain when the person who I felt was so obviously qualified to be our next president was defeated by such a sorry excuse for a candidate.

I couldn't sleep Tuesday night, and I walked around in a daze on Wednesday.  I sat at my desk at work and watched Hillary Clinton's concession speech in tears, amazed that the people around me appeared to be functioning as usual.

As the days wore on, I decided I wasn't going to deny myself the experience of just being sad.  And I reminded myself that my feelings matter and that I have the right to feel them regardless of how that makes me appear to others.

It's important to me that you know that my sadness was not because Donald Trump won.

  My sadness was because I felt like I had let America down by not campaigning more.  I should've called people out on their inaccurate and outright lies about Hillary Clinton.  I should've canvassed more.  I should've made more phone calls.  

I simply should've done more in support of my candidate.

I grieved because, as Americans, we were so close to showing the world that we value female leadership by electing our first female president, but instead we elected a washed-up reality TV star that is the epitome of sexism.  I felt my value as a woman plummet in the sight of my country.

I've since began to feel better.  And, I've decided I'm not going to sit back and let the next four years pass by as if this colossal of a mistake never happened.  I've resolved to say more, to do more and to be more.  How can I not when I have two daughters to raise?



And if there must be a silver lining, I suppose that would be it.

I don't expect anyone to be feeling as I do.  And I don't want to be feeling this pessimistic about the next four years.  Let me say that again:  I don't want to be feeling this way.

But, I do.  

And I'm not going to apologize for my feelings.

And if that makes me a sore loser who simply needs to "get over it," so be it.

#StillWithHer

a PLACE for EVERYTHING

There was a time not long ago that our house was sort of in disarray.  We were in the process of moving the girls into the same bedroom and transitioning the nursery into a play room.  Things didn't quite go according to plan (life, amiright?), so things got a little disorganized.

Okay, so it really wasn't that bad.  But, it did stress me out and give me a bit of anxiety.  Again, not anxiety like I know other people experience, but, in all honesty, it was sort of a depressing time for me.

I know that sounds weird, but it was sort of an eye-opening experience for me.  I learned that I really get bothered by clutter and am somewhat obsessive when it comes to everything having a place.  I don't think I'm unhealthy about it all.  But, if we don't use something I get rid of it and never look back!

Over the past few weeks, I've worked on certain areas of the house that have needed a little TLC.  That "one drawer" that everyone seems to have in their kitchen now has bamboo organization boxes.  I've never used drawer organizers like these before {shocking, I know!}, but they really help keep things in place and prevents items from being stored unnecessarily.  Our oil drawer was also in need of a face lift.  My daughter helped me label each bottle, making it much easier to find whatever oil I'm looking for.

The laundry room was in need of some serious help.  I have learned that I love things to be up off the floor, if at all possible.  It makes things so much easier to keep neat and organized.  I'm secretly in love with these hooks.

Another view of the laundry room.  We found these shelves at Walmart and the storage boxes at Ross.  They have revolutionized this room.  Dustin questioned whether we'd be able to keep things organized, and I can honestly say we have!  For me, the trick really is having a designated spot for everything and not holding on to things that aren't needed.

The laundry room may or may not be my favorite room in my entire house.

I still have a few projects, one drawer in particular, that aren't quite finished.  After that, I'll begin the painful job of decorating.  We've been in this house for over a year and our walls are still mostly bare.  I just can't seem to commit to any one idea.  Any suggestions are appreciated!

THINGS i CAN'T do

Sometimes I think the Internet is exploding with examples of how good we are at certain things.

So, I decided to change that by posting two examples of things I, in all sincerity, cannot do:  shuffle cards and draw.

I attribute my poor shuffling skills to having small hands.  For reals, my hands haven't grown since 5th grade.  Maybe everyone's hands stop growing at that age.  I'm not really sure.  All I know is that I have small hands; therefore, I cannot shuffle cards.

Another thing I cannot do is draw.  Exhibit A is my best attempt at drawing a cat.  Clearly, I have no talent in this area.  Like, absolutely no talent at all.

In some ways, I find it fascinating to think about how we're all really good at certain things, and horrible at others.  I'm sure, with some time and effort, I could learn to shuffle cards appropriately and draw a cat that actually looks like a cat.  But, I really don't want to.  So far, I've survived life without talent in those areas, and maybe it's best to just leave it to other people and focus on the things I can do.

What are some things that you can't do?

THINGS i've said. {LITERALLY}

I've been known to say a lot of stupid things.  I don't have "Foot-In-Mouth" disease {#gottalovejoe}, but on more than one occasion I have said things that make absolutely no sense and defy logic.

And, honestly, I can't think of a single reason why I shouldn't publicly share a few of the idiotic things I've said over the years with all of you!

...

While watching a TV show with my friends, during a commercial break and nearing the end of one of the commercials I said: 

"Next will either be the show or another commercial."

During our "Just Friends" stage, when Dustin asked if I had any tape {meaning packing tape}

my response was:

"Well, I have....tape {meaning, scotch tape}.
He knew exactly what I meant.

When mentioning the last time I ate, I said:

"I haven't eaten since....today."

When telling a story about my two roommates I said:

"Karen and What's-Her-Face were both there."

{Both of my roommates were named Karen}

And, in 2006, I resurrected the term "I don't give a care."
Thankfully, that only lasted a day.

 ...

I'm hoping my randomness eventually makes it way to one of my kids.  I'm guessing it'll strike Isabelle, but, who knows, LL could throw me a curve ball.

Either way, you'll be laughing!

{TEN things} you NEVER KNEW you ALWAYS wanted to KNOW about ME

I love macaroni and cheese.  Be it homemade or from a box, it's all winning.

I loathe small talk.  Seriously, it's the worst.  Let's just jump right into all my personal problems, hopes, dreams and fears.

I'm a total hipster snob when it comes to music.

I love to make people laugh.

My love language is Words of Affirmation.

I really don't understand the point of celery.

The term "clean eating" makes my skin crawl.

I once wrote a book with my friend.  We were both in the 2nd or 3rd grade at the time.  It was about a magical land with a chocolate river.  I'm pretty sure one of the characters was a popsicle.

I wouldn't consider the fact that I have the song "Careless Whisper" stuck in my head at this very moment a weird and/or bad thing.

I dream of having a legit vinyl collection.  One day.

...

I hope whatever you do with this useless information makes your day better!

Pretty Little Liars {the SOUNDTRACK}

I've learned within the last little while that I like my entertainment to be mindless.  In all seriousness, when I sit down to watch a show I just want to be entertained.  I don't want to be challenged or uplifted or educated.  I want to be entertained.  This does not mean my taste in TV shows is bad (hello, 30 Rock.  Best TV Comedy ever), but it may explain why I've suddenly found myself watching Pretty Little Liars.

There's little to be said about the writing for the show.  For crying out loud, I'm four seasons in and there are still no answers to the cliff-hanger from the pilot episode.

But, who really needs good writing and realistic situations any way?  I mean, the "teenagers" in the show are all played by people well into their 20s and 30s, so, clearly, we're not striving for perfection.

But, that's okay.  

Pretty Little Liars is an entertaining show that I can watch after a long day.  For whatever reason, it helps me unwind.

Plus, there's Ezra.  Adorable-English-teaching-dating-your-student-so-you're-basically-a-pedophile Ezra.  What's not to love?

But, more importantly, the show has a killer soundtrack.  I usually find a song I love during every episode, and thanks to someone who has more free time than I do, I can view the songs from each episode at this handy website.  And then add to my music library the songs I like best.

I particularly like the song called BONES by MS MR.  Their songs are $1.29 on iTunes, which usually means they're popular and/or played on the radio.  So, I may be late in the game when it comes their awesomeness, but better late than never!

 Enjoy!

#mindless #entertainment

create your own {TIME}

I had the thought that my kids should see me doing things besides just cooking and cleaning.  You know, allowing them the opportunity to see that I have a personality and interests that extend beyond being "the little wife."  And since I had previously decided to read more, particularly the classics, I thought I'd enlighten my children by reading in front of them.  We went to the library one day and I checked out a copy of The Grapes of Wrath.

So, that was a month ago and I'm on page 95.

Apparently, casually reading a book while my kids entertain themselves is much more difficult than I anticipated.  No wonder I never read!  And, the guilt of doing something for me doesn't stop at the needs of my children.  It also includes the needs of my house.  Why would I ever read when there is laundry that needs to be folded and put away, dishes that need to be unloaded and loaded into the dishwasher, etc.  The list of things that I could be doing usually always trumps leisurely reading, even if no one is in need of my immediate attention.

The fact is, I don't feel productive if I'm reading.  And if I don't feel productive, I start to think less of myself.  And so I came up with this idea of how to indulge myself ever so slightly all while feeling productive.  I started including things that I wanted to do on my daily To Do list.  Among all the things I need to get done each day are things I want to do.

And guess what?  It works!

Turns out, the euphoria of crossing something off my list allows me to relax long enough to enjoy one chapter of The Grapes of Wrath {I had to extend my due date, by the way} each day.  And, when I'm done, I cross it off my list and can go about the rest of my feeling like I did something good for myself without feeling like I wasted my time.

I suppose the bottom line is this:  if I'm going to do anything for me, I have to plan for it.  That's sort of how adulthood is.  And even though that may sound frustrating, it's really not.  Being an adult blows sometimes, but there are a lot of perks to it as well.  Like, asking for a lemon with your water.  What teenager could get away with that without being ridiculed by her friends?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go cross off "Write blog post" from my To Do list.

i love {CLEAN}

I've been thinking about a blog post that made it's way around social media awhile ago.  It was written by a husband who decided he would no longer get angry at his wife for not keeping the house clean while he was at work.  Apparently, the husband didn't realize the house was messy because the wife was spending that time with their children.  A sink full of dirty dishes didn't mean she had been lazy all day, but, rather, she had spent her time making memories and bonding with her children.

I cringed a little when I read the article.  It didn't resonate with me at all.  Even though I understood why so many people appreciated and related to the message, I, on the other hand, was annoyed by it.

I like to keep a nice house.  I don't seem to struggle with finding time keeping my house clean and put together.  No, my house is not sparkling from top to bottom, but odds are if you were to drop by unannounced, it wouldn't be a complete disaster.

Dustin and I have both had people comment on the condition of our house.  I'm usually at a loss for words when things like this are said because I don't think I'm doing anything abnormal with my time that would explain why my house is clean.

But what I took away from the article was that maybe my house is clean because I'm not spending enough quality time with my children....

...but then reality set in and I began thinking things like this:

I declutter frequently

Everything I owe belongs in a specific area of my house, if not an exact location

I am picking up, straightening, folding, loading and unloading things all throughout the day

If I notice something needs to be done, I'll think about how long it'll take me to complete it: "It'll take me three minutes to unload the dishwasher."  Or, "It'll take two seconds for me to put those shoes away."  For some reason, understanding that a mundane task will be complete in a matter of seconds really motivates me to just get it done.

When all is said and done, I guess I view maintaining a clean house as a good thing for my children.  They know where things are, they know where things go, they put their dishes in the sink when they're finished with them and they throw their own garbage away.

Of course, I could be better at the quality time with my children.  And, yes, the laundry can wait to be folded if LL wants to snuggle while we watch The Pirate Fairy for the millionth time.  Obviously, my children's needs are a priority over the sparkling, shining state of my house.

But the condition of my house is a priority too - one that I think my children will appreciate one day.

one word: SELFIES

What started out as nothing more than an inconvenient thing to do when no one was around {or you were too afraid to ask someone} to take a picture of you with your best friend, has evolved to one of the most annoying things ever:  the SELFIE.

Let me be clear, I know a selfie is technically a picture you take of yourself, but for the purposes of this post I'm generalizing it to any picture of just you - whether you took it or not.

As I scroll through my Instagram feed and see people post these amazing pictures of just themselves, that were obviously taken by someone else, I often wonder how that picture came to be.  I mean, the picture of you perfectly posed outside the airport holding your purse that's as big as Massachusetts and as expensive as my car, was that planned?  Did someone ask you, "Can I take your picture so you can post it for all your friends to see?"  Or, did you ask someone to take your picture?

How do these pictures come to be?

Luckily, I got a partial answer a few weeks ago while waiting to eat at a restaurant.  A nice girl walked in with her {I guess?} husband and daughter.  She was dressed well and looked really pretty.  And that's all I really thought about her until I heard, "Will you take my picture over by this table?"  I looked up, and sure enough this guy was taking her picture next to this random table.

I get if you're at the Statue of Liberty or the Eiffel Tower or the Great Wall of China that you'd want a picture taken of yourself.  But, just at a restaurant, on a seemingly normal day?  And, why not include the people you're with in the picture?

And then there are the people who upload literally hundreds {true story, I can prove it} of actual selfies to Facebook.  I get a picture here and a picture there, especially if it's a picture celebrating or documenting some special event or location.  But, hundreds of pictures of you.  In your car.  With your lips puckered.  All while flashing a peace sign.  I'm pretty sure some hippie just rolled over in his/her grave.

In all fairness, I don't like to get my picture taken, so it's difficult for me to imagine myself asking someone to take a picture of just me.  Frolicking.  In a field.  With the sunset in the background.  And my hair blowing in the wind.  And then posting it online where my friends will obviously tell me how cute my hair is, ask where I got my shoes, or to say how jealous they are of me because I'm so pretty.

Because, let's face it, you don't post a selfie of yourself unless you think you look good in it.  You just don't.

Unless you're me.

Courtesy of ISC Photography

What are your thoughts on selfies?

when I was in A RUT...

Every once in awhile, I find myself in a rut.  Nothing in my life is necessarily wrong, but something feels like it's missing.  I experienced such rut a few months ago.  Isabelle had just started school, and our family had began a new schedule that was very much the same each and every day.  

Don't get me wrong - I love schedules and routines!  But there were days that I would think that there was more to me than just waking up, getting ready, dropping kids off at school, picking kids up from school, cleaning, running errands, cooking, going to work, etc.  I felt as though I needed to invest more in myself by way of developing new talents or learning about new things.

I decided to spend some more time in an area that had piqued my interest for years:  essential oils.  I was specifically interested in them in terms of cleaning.  I had always been curious about making my own cleaning products and knew essential oils were often used in homemade recipes.  I reached out to a friend of mine who had a lot of experience with the oils, and she helped me find a starter kit that complimented my needs.  

Not long after, I found myself using the oils every single day.  I used them to clean my kitchen and bathrooms.  I used them to help my family, specifically my kids, calm down in the evening and to get better sleep.  I used them to keep the spiders away in my basement.  I used them to wipe down all the door knobs and other frequently touched surfaces in my house to help eliminate germs.  I used them to help clear up my skin when I broke out into hives.  I used them as a "pick me up" when I felt a bit groggy in the morning and mid-afternoon.  And I used them to help my house smell like a million bucks!

Now, only three months later, I have found myself with a new appreciation and love for these oils.  Not only have they given me a plethora of options in how I care for myself and family, they helped me get out of my rut.  It has been so nice to learn about something new and find new ways to spend my time!

As I've shared them with my family and friends, I've forced myself out of my comfort zone and have seen new ways in which I am capable.  And, as a VERY surprising twist, they have helped me earn some extra cash.  An outcome I was not planning or expecting at all.  But, I'm certainly not complaining!

Do you use essential oils?  If so, how?  I'd love to learn new ways to use them!

Do you have an interest in essential oils?  If so, let's talk!  They really have changed my life.

the MODEST girl

I recently read a post on Facebook written by someone I don't know that went along these lines:

 "Parents, please make sure your daughter dresses modestly so my son doesn't get addicted to pornography."

{Ok, so that is a slight exaggeration}

But, it may as well been that blatant of a statement, which, by the way, infuriated me.

Regardless, I decided that, as a mother of two girls, I better get on this request of making sure my daughters are dressed a certain way.  So, I added it to my current To-Do list:

Monday: Take pictures of my daughters' wardrobe.  Send pictures to parents of boys for approval
{Note to self:  Research the most affordable place to buy pantsuits}

Tuesday:  Have a sit-down with my daughters.  Reiterate the importance of understanding the changes the male body experiences during puberty.  Make sure they understand how sensitive we should be towards our male friends.  

{Note to self: buy more tampons and Midol}

Wednesday:  Send an e-mail to Macy's, Nordstrom, etc., asking them when their new line of prom dresses with high-necks and sleeves will be in stock.  Find a full day to go dress shopping. 

{Note to self:  hire a good seamstress}

Thursday:   Take that first leap of faith by letting my daughter walk to a friends house by herself.  But first, review the family "code" word.  Buy some more pepper spray.
{Note to self:  Research self-defense classes}

Friday:   Encourage daughters to get good grades, and tell them I hope they plan to attend college.  Help them understand that exercising their minds is just as important as exercising their bodies.
{Note to self:  Research how to teach your daughter that looks are not the most important thing while simultaneously teaching her that she needs to look a certain way.}

...

Don't get me wrong.  I understand the basic principle behind the original post.  I have standards for my daughters and do not think they should be allowed to wear whatever they want.  And I'll do my best to make sure that when they leave my house they are dressed in a manner that I deem appropriate.

But, the bottom line is this:

It is not my responsibility, nor my daughters' responsibility, to make sure your son does not engage in anything improper or immoral, be it actions or thoughts.

That's your responsibility.  

But, mostly, it's his responsibility.

So, if you could take the state of your son's morality off my plate of things to do, I'd really appreciate it.

{#ohsnap!}

how to LOWER your DISH NETWORK bill

When I first signed up for Dish Network I was eligible for a promotional rate for one year.  My monthly bill during that year was roughly $38.00.  After a year, the charges went up significantly to $68.00.  

After awhile, I decided to see what I could do about lowering my bill.  I talked to a nice representative who told me she could change my monthly bill to $41.99 for one year.  I was very happy about the new price, and confirmed with her numerous times that the price she quoted me was what I could expect to see on my bills for the next  year.  She assured me that the final price would be $41.99.

Well, the next month, my bill was higher than the price I was quoted, but I figured that had to do with amounts being pro-rated since my promotion had changed mid-month.  So, I just let it go.

The following month, the amount was even higher, so I decided to chat with a representative online to find out what was going on.  After awhile, it became clear that the girl I originally spoke to had given me wrong information, and while I was chatting with the Dish representative about her mistake, I more or less just wanted an apology and an admission that a mistake had been made.

An apology was never extended, and, in fact, things like these were said instead:

"I don't know what happened.  I was apart of the conversation."

"How about you get rid of the protection plan?  That would lower your monthly bill."

I eventually ended the chat conversation and told the representative I would most likely close my account since I couldn't trust what my bill would be.

A day or two later, I tried again.  I chatted with another representative and explained my situation.  Again, I was looking for an apology or some sort of acknowledgement that yes, a mistake had been made on the part of Dish Network.  

Nada.

So, I said I wanted to close my account and the rep quickly gave me the contact information I needed.

The next day, I called Dish Network and spoke to a nice representative.  I explained my situation and said I wanted to close my account.  He told me I would be penalized for closing my account early, and when I told him I was outside my two-year agreement, he started with the specials he'd extend to me if I kept my service.

Specials like HBO or sports channels free for 3 months.  I told him I didn't watch channels like that and that I still wanted to cancel.

He then went over all the details of how to return my receiver, remotes, etc. and how I would be penalized if I didn't do things correctly.  Apparently Dish is allowed to make mistakes without any consequences, but not their customers.

After I told him I understood what I needed to do, he asked me if I was sure I wanted to close my account.  I told him confidently that I did.

And then he put me on hold.

And then he came back on the line and went over a few other items of business with me.  And asked me again if I still wanted to proceed.  I said yes, again.

And then he put me on hold, again.

And, then, suddenly he came back on the line and said he'd knock of $30 from my bill if I kept my account open.  I went over the numbers with him and decided to take him up on his offer, assuming, of course, the quotes he gave me actually turned out to be correct.

In the end, I gave Dish Network another chance.  After all, my new bill was apparently going to be lower than my original starting price.

And then the bills came.  And the numbers didn't seem right.  They seemed a little too low.  As in, my bill was less than $20 a month.  I was confused and eventually chatted with a supervisor about it.  Apparently, my original promotion {the one that supposedly took my bill down to $41.99} was still in effect, plus the additional $30 discount I was given for threatening to close my account.  

To be honest, I don't know exactly how all the math adds up.  All I know is that my bill is somewhere between $15 - $17 a month for one year.  I just have to laugh because I was more than thrilled with paying $41.99.  I thought I had scored a pretty sweet deal.  And, all the talk about closing my account all stemmed from a measly $7.00 discrepancy.  Sure, not a lot of money, but the bottom line is I wanted what I was quoted.

My experience is just another example of how messed up Corporate America really is.  I know I'm just one customer and I matter not to Dish Network in the grand scheme of things.  But, it really is pathetic that I managed to score such an awesome deal all because this company refused to acknowledge a mistake.

And, honestly, in the end, that's all I wanted - a simple apology.

...

UPDATE as of September 2014

This post has turned out to be one of my most view posts ever.  I am amazed at how many people are looking for ways to lower their Dish Network bill!  I recently made a change to the way I view TV and am in love.

First, I cancelled my Dish Network service.

Second, I bought a Roku (a one-time fee of $69)

Third, I signed up for Netflix (which included 30 days free service)

Fourth, I signed up for Hulu Plus (which included 60 days free service)

Now, I have access to all the shows I want for a SET PRICE of less than $20 a month.  And, I was streaming shows to my TV after a very short, pain-free, appointment-free installation process.

These services have been a game changer for our family.  If you're fed up with companies like Dish Network overcharging you, I highly recommend you consider doing what I do and getting rid of it all together.

you MATTER

Not long ago, I spoke to a woman over the phone at work.  She was placing an order for her grandson, who had made an unfortunate decision and was now serving time in prison.   Before I could complete her order, I had to put her on hold.  When I came back on the line, this sweet woman was crying.  She apologized for being so emotional and I did my best to comfort her.  As I listened to her cry, my heart ached for her and her family.  I wondered if this young man realized the pain he had caused.  I wondered why people have to suffer so due to no fault of their own.

Our phone call lasted only a few minutes, but it taught me a valuable lesson. For the first time, I think I grasped the reality of how much we matter.

What we do matters.  

The decisions we make matter.

Be it good or bad, we are not alone when dealing with the consequences of our actions.

source

What we do matters.

We matter.

And I can't help but imagine what this world would be like if we really understood this simple truth.

You matter.

Act like it.

new NORMALS

My youngest daughter, we call her LL, will be four months old tomorrow.  Time usually flies, but it seems to be flying particularly fast when it comes to baby LL.

The past four months have been all about creating a schedule and finding a routine that works for our now family of four.  I knew if I was ever going to have a normal, non-crazy life again, there would need to be some major structure within the walls of my home.

And, thankfully, we have settled on a good schedule and things seem to be heading in the right direction, with all the usual bumps and scratches along the way, of course.

As I watched Isabelle ride her bike in front of our house while holding LL in my arms, I realized my time with the two of them at home all day is quickly coming to an end.  Isabelle will be attending pre-school three days a week starting in August, and it won't be too much longer after that that she'll be in kindergarten.  And then first grade.  And then junior high.  And then high school.

source

I knew if I ever had more than one child, I wanted them a little further apart in age.  That's how it was for me growing up and I liked it.  With the exception of a few years in elementary school, I never went to school with any of my siblings and felt like I had more opportunities to do things on my own because of it.  And, in the end, I think it helped me in many ways.

I'm very proud of the progress we've made as a family and how far we've come with getting used to our new normal.  

This is particularly true with Isabelle.  She struggled at first with being a big sister, but now loves it.  The two of them genuinely love to see each other.  No one can capture LL's attention quite like Isabelle can, and it melts my heart to see them have fun together.

While I think there will be many advantages to having one child in school with another one just at home, I will miss our days of all being home together.

I suppose I should get used to the idea of constant "new normals" because life is doing anything but staying the same these days.

the PRINCESS DILEMMA

If you didn't hear about the big commotion regarding Pixar's Brave character Merida I guess I'm not that surprised.  In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't too big of deal.  But, in order for this post to make any sense to you, you need to know a few of the details.

A few weeks ago, Merida was inducted into the ever inclusive Disney Princess Club.  As part of her induction, Disney gave her a little bit of a make-over.

Source

Obviously, the princess club Merida was much more sexy, slimmer and without her most prized possession - the bow and arrow. 

Thousands were outraged by the change, claiming that Merida was the first Disney princess that was different.  The first Disney princess that wasn't about beauty and whose only hope in life wasn't to meet her handsome prince.  The first Disney princess that was actually worth admiring.

A petition was started.  Thousands of signatures were collected.  The petition demanded Disney restore Merida to her original settings.  And, after a few days, that's exactly what happened.  The official Disney princess website was changed and Merida was once again portrayed just as she did in her feature film.

So, here's my dilemma.

I am raising a little girl that loves princesses.  She adores them all:  Rapunzel, Cinderella, Tiana, Ariel, Belle, Mulan, Sleeping Beauty, Merida, etc.  She owns many of the princess dresses and would wear them 24/7 if I let her.

As I watch my little girl prance around our house in her dresses and then think about the outrage over Merida's makeover, I find myself conflicted.  I wonder, "Am I setting my daughter up for complete and utter doom by letting her love and adore princesses?  Is she going to grow up feeling like the only thing that matters in life is how you look?"

And then I think about the stories behind some of these princesses:

Belle is an outcast in the village where she lives.  She prefers to read and seeks adventure.  She refuses a marriage proposal from the most dashing, handsome man in town.  She supports and defends her father even when everyone else makes fun of him, and, she ultimately sacrifices her freedom to save his life.  She eventually falls in love with the Beast because, despite his appearance, she has learned that he is kind and gentle and caring.

Cinderella is treated horribly by her family.  She is a slave in her own home.  Despite the cruelty she endures, she always has a positive attitude.  In the end, her dream of a better life comes true, illustrating that, despite the difficulties we may have now, things can turn out for the better.

Ariel dreams of a different life.  She has a curious nature and wants to learn everything she can about life above the sea.  She is rebellious, knows what she wants in life and makes sure she gets it.

Mulan lives in a country where tradition means everything, and where women are viewed as worthless.  Because she is not male, the only way she can bring honor to her family is by getting married.  Even though she wants to honor her father and mother, she knows she has more to offer than just being "a little wife."  Despite the risk of being killed, she disguises herself as a man and takes her father's place in the Chinese army.  After a lot of hard work and determination, she eventually becomes a great soldier and brings honor to her family all while remaining single.

Are all the princesses mentioned above beautiful?

Yes.

  Does that make their stories any less meaningful?

No.

I don't want my daughters to grow up thinking the most important thing in life is to be beautiful, but I also don't want them thinking being beautiful is bad.

I want my daughters to know that, regardless of physical appearance, everyone has strengths, weaknesses, dreams and fears.  No one is exempt from times of happiness or difficulties.  And, even though no two people are exactly alike, it is safe to assume everyone has similar, basic needs and desires.  And because of all of this, it is important to treat everyone with kindness and dignity.

When my oldest daughter finds herself feeling insecure about her appearance, will I think back on this time and say, "I never should've let her wear that Rapunzel dress everyday!"  My guess is, no.  Everyone feels "less than" at some point in their life.  It's just apart of life.

And it's not that it happens that matters.  It's how you handle it that is the most important.

Does this mean I am indifferent about Merida's makeover?  Of course not.  It was ridiculous for Disney to change her appearance.  (However, I should mention that all of the princesses on the website have been altered in some way, begging the question as to why no one has gotten all up in arms about that.  But, that's besides the point.)  All I'm trying to say is that loving princesses isn't all that bad, and that we should focus more of our concerns on why people like the cast of The Jersey Shore and the Kardashians are so popular.

In the end, I'm glad that people took a stand for something they felt strongly about and won!  It just goes to show that your voice can be heard, even when you're going up against huge corporations. I'm glad to have a daughter that loves to wear dresses, play make believe and who whole-heartedly embraces her femininity and thinks pants are for boys.

And, I'm glad that, thanks to Merida, she can't wait to get her own bow and arrow.

let the CHILLAXING BEGIN!

I had a little bit of a wake-up call yesterday with respect to my cleaning habits.  I posted a little bit ago that I needed to let loose when it came to what Isabelle played with.  I've done better lately by letting her paint inside, color and do other crafts that are potentially very messy and require some clean-up.  However, I still must be a bit uptight about it all becuase this is the conversation I had with her yesterday:

I:  Mom, can I play in my room?

Me:  Of course.

I:  Mom, can I make a mess?

Me:  Definitely

{Some time goes by...}

I:  Mom, I made a mess

I scan her room.  Only 3 or 4 toys are on the floor.  My heart sank.

Me:  Isabelle, you didn't make a mess.  Do you want to keep playing?

I:  Yes, please shut the door.

{Some more time goes by...}

I:  Mom, I'm all done playing!

I scan her room again.  Toys were everywhere.  I smiled and happily helped her clean up.

It's definitely time to make sure my daughter knows she is free to play with her toys in her room without worrying about the consequences of making too big of a mess.  It's not like she has markers in there and will write all over the wall.  It's just a matter of putting things back where they belong, and, since dejunking, things are organized and very easy to clean up.

Working on chillaxing has officially begun!