"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new."
I found out I was pregnant with my first child in May 2008. Dustin and I had decided a few months earlier that we were ready to add a branch to our family tree, so I wasn't too surprised when I read the word "pregnant" on my home pregnancy test. It was still a little surreal, though.
Instead of planning a big reveal, I immediately called Dustin at work to give him the big news. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: "Hey, how's it going?"
D: "Good. How are you?"
Me: "Good. Guess what?"
Me: "I'm pregnant."
Me: "We can talk about it when you get home."
D: "Sounds good."
Over the next few weeks, as things started to set in, I realized something: After a lifetime of hearing other women tell me about their pregnancies and what it was like to be a mom, I was finally going to have my OWN story, my own experiences. It may sound silly, but it was such a liberating feeling.
My daughter, Belle, is now 16 months old.
I always expected motherhood to alter me. I expected to be tired. I expected to have fun. I expected the throw up and messy diapers. I expected a bond. I expected the irrational worry and fear. I expected all of that.
What I didn't expect was a love for my own story. I love to analyze it. I love to compare it. I love to share it. It's my very own story, and no two stories are the same.