June 10, 2010

what's IN an AGE?

"Where did you two meet, Amber Alert?
-Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock

Today's thought is about dating.  More specifically, the importance of age and dating.

I personally don't think age is that big of a deal.  If two people get along and like being with each other, who cares if one is 12 years older than the other?  Of course, there are a few exceptions.  For example, if a 30 year old guy is dating an 18 year old girl.  A girl who is technically not a "juvie,"  but basically still is.  That's kind of messed up to me.

Men dating younger women has always been normal.  No one really thinks much about it (well, unless it's an Anna Nicole Smith type marriage).  When a woman dates a younger man, however, it's headline news.  Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.  Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake.  The media was all over these two couples when they first got together, and it seemed as though everyone was talking about their age differences.

So, the real question is, when a woman dates a younger man, is it really all that interesting?  I mean, there's a new TV show on ABC called "Cougars" for crying out loud.  And it's a popular show.  But, seriously, what's the big deal?

Looking back on my own dating experiences, the majority of the guys I dated were always older than me.  Most were a few years older.  Some, a few months older.  My husband is 3 months, 2 days older than me.  And, as far as older guys goes, he's the youngest older guy I ever dated.  :)

I did go out on a few dates with a guy almost a year younger than me.  If I'm really honest with myself, I have to admit that the age difference did bug me.  I'm not really sure why it bugged me.  After all, my grandma is older than my grandpa.  My mom is older than my dad.  My sister is older than her husband.  Maybe it bothered me because this guy was kind of a loser and I'm not sure why I even gave him the light of day.  Not to say I'm this perfect person, but this guy really didn't have much to offer me.  He didn't challenge me intellectually or had the same drive that I did.  I guess that's why things didn't work out.

What do you all think about age and dating?  Is it a big deal to you?  Thoughts?


  1. I think I would feel weird dating a younger man. In fact, I did date a younger man... two different younger men, in fact and it made me uncomfortable too. Weird? Seems like it should be weird, but I'm thinking we are not alone in our discomfort.

    My brother is 25 and he is dating a girl that is 34 and she has three kids. Seemed really weird to me at first, but now that she's been around a while, she fits perfectly with him. Better, in fact, than any girl he's ever dated. So, I think whatever works for the individual situation is great!

  2. I said "in fact" three times in that comment. That bothers me. Clearly I didn't edit before I published. Silly me.

  3. I have found that 12 years is a complete generation of different ideas/values and goals. It doesn't matter all the time, but there are those times when it does and it's not the easiest thing to resolve. Would I do it again? Sure would, but I'd be more secure in who I am.

  4. I love that you wrote this blog, because I'm in this situation (sort of) at the moment. The one man that I can consider myself closest to (but not offically dating) is 11 years younger than me. I've felt more close to him than any guy I've dated that was around my age. I guess it's because I never offically grew up yet. ;-P

    Age shouldn't be a factor in dating/marriage. Goals, ideas, values etc. should come before any number of "years of extra experience".

  5. ive dated younger guys. and in my family the women are older than the men, except me and dave. and then dave is 13.5 year older than me.
    I think its all about the connection you have. i agree with you on the age difference not mattering once your past a certain age. you got to both grow up before age doesnt matter!

  6. I used to be really hung up on age. Until I was 23, the couple of guys I had dated were all younger than me and it bugged me.

    But, the older I get, the more I realize that if I want to have any hope of dating someone normal, I'm almost definitely going to have to go for someone younger. Because once you get to the mid-thirties, the guys are single for a reason...

  7. I never really dated anyone...but I had crushes on SEVERAL guys younger than me. My friend's mom is SIX YEARS older than her dad. That's crazy! Not that it really matters (or has anything to do with dating), but give me a little Zac Efron or Taylor Lautner ANY DAY over an older actor. Am I right?


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