my NOVEMBER goal

Life has been fairly rough for me in the motherhood department.  My daughter has been "on one" for the last several weeks and it's so hard not to take her extreme tantrums, hitting, screaming and overall disagreeableness as a sign that I am a terrible mom.

But instead of complaining, I'm going to attempt to heal from the continuous trials that seem to encompass my entire day by writing a post every day during the month of November about the things I am grateful for.

I realize it's November 8th, so obviously I have some catching up to do.  And because I'm a bit OCD I'm going to do a different post for each of my catch up days and possibly even back date them.  :)

More to come!

MUSIC mondays: WHOLE WIDE WORLD

Today I'm featuring the artist 

MINDY GLEDHILL

and her song

WHOLE WIDE WORLD

I adore this song because it's lyrics are so inspirational and things I hope my daughter thinks about.

"I wanna hold the whole wide world

Right here in my open hands

Maybe I'm just a little girl

A little girl with great big plans."

I hope you find this song as fun and upbeat as I do.

Happy Monday, Everyone!  I hope you have a great week.

almost UNEMPLOYED

When I began working again, I knew it'd only be for a short period of time.  I had very specific goals with my paychecks (goals that both Dustin and I agreed to), and planned from the beginning to quit once those goals were met.

Of course, things changed a bit once I found out I was pregnant.  

And today I find myself only obligated to go to work two more times.  I'm very happy to be winding down my employment for the time being, but I'm sad to leave the people I have come to know. Thanks to Facebook, I know we'll still keep in touch, and I can obviously visit them at work whenever I want.  But, it will still be sad not to see them on a regular basis, even if I am a good decade older than most of them and I'm in a completely different stage in life than most of them.

Despite all that, here are a few things I've learned about myself and others while having this job:

1.  Because of my degree, I know I could have moved up the ladder.  Even though working full-time was not on my agenda, it's nice knowing that I had that option.  I'll always be grateful for my education.

2.  I can get along with pretty much any type of person.  It helps if that person knows how to carry on a conversation, but it's not required for me to still tolerate their company.

3.  I tend to give unsolicited advice.  I need to work on that.

4.  Few feelings compare to that of coming home after a hard day at work.  Thanks, Dustin, for always being there to listen to me vent.

5.  Good, reliable co-workers are hard to come by.

6.  Retail is a very under appreciated career.  After all, without retail employees, there would be no Black Friday.

7.  Even though I was not hired to be a maid, I certainly felt like one.  There are garbage cans in the store for a reason.

8.  It's sad when people are shocked when they receive good customer service.  It shouldn't be that big of a surprise when people not only do their job, but do it well.

9.  Whether she takes my advice or not, Isabelle will learn the importance of hard work and keeping her word.

10.  I'm definitely going to miss my paychecks!

What sort of things have you learned about yourself and other people by working?

Thoughts?

INSTAGRAM wednesday: DANCE CLASS

Dance class was a huge success.

I think I'm more excited for her to go to class again today than she is.

DUSTIN and his GIRLS

There are a lot of things that I love about Dustin.  I could list all of his qualities and attributes that I love and admire, but instead I'd like to focus on one thing and that is his attitude towards women.

When Dustin's co-workers first learned that I was pregnant, a lot of people began asking him if he wanted a boy this time around.  I knew from the beginning that Dustin loved raising our little Isabelle and that he had no problems about having another girl.  He expressed his thoughts to those he worked with and a lot of people, specifically the men in the group, were astonished by his response.  How could it be possible that he didn't want a boy?  A boy to carry on the family name!  A boy to watch sports with.  A boy to hunt with.  People were really flabbergasted.  And that really bothered Dustin, and not because he's neither interested in sports or hunting, but because he felt people were suggesting there's something wrong with having a girl.  That a girl is somehow less than compared to boys.

One night after work, Dustin told me what had been said to him at work.  When it came to carrying on the family name, my immediate response was, "People know that women don't have to change their last name when they get married, right?"  Dustin laughed because he said that was his first thought too.

We talked about everything for awhile, and things settled down at the office.  In fact, most people predicted we would have another girl.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think any of his co-workers meant to offend.  And they didn't really offend Dustin by what they said.  I think it was more shocking than anything.

I'm so thankful for Dustin because of his attitude towards women.  He has always treated me like his equal.  He has never done or said anything that suggests he is somehow superior to me simply because of his gender.  We also recognize that while we're equal, we're different in that we have different strengths and weaknesses and personalities.

I think Isabelle is the luckiest girl in the world to have Dustin as her dad.  I know he's going to be so supportive of her throughout her life.  He will expect certain things from her and hope certain things for her, but overall will encourage her to do whatever she wants in life.  He won't put any limitations on her because she is a girl.

And I know he's so excited to welcome our new baby girl into the family. 

After all, nothing can compare to the father-daughter relationship.

INSTAGRAM wednesday: TECH GEEKS

Dustin frequently travels for work.  Most of the time, he returns home at a decent hour.  His last trip was a different story with his flight not landing until close to midnight.

I knew I would be asleep when he got home.  I also knew he'd hit up the iPad and browse Facebook before coming to bed.

So, I left him a little message.

He's since left me messages too. 

I guess we're a bit nerdy, but it works for us!

the HELICOPTER in ME

Isabelle's stranger anxiety began when she was very, very young.  I'm not exactly sure, but I want to say around 3 months.  I know it was before 6 months.

As a new mom, I was very protective of my little girl.  We spent a lot of time at home, just the two of us.  All of our family lived hours away, so visits to see grandma and grandpa, aunts and uncles and cousins were few and far between.  And, when we did get to see our family Isabelle was less than thrilled and never let anyone else get near her, let alone hold her, without going into a major fit.

The idea of going out with Dustin on a date and hiring a baby-sitter to watch Isabelle seemed like the most daunting thing ever.  How could I subject anyone to Isabelle's fits or subject Isabelle to such trauma?

As a result, I was rarely without my child.

As the months passed, I decided to get a part-time job.  Isabelle was 8 months old at the time and my schedule worked perfectly with Dustin's so a sitter would never be needed.  I was excited for the chance to get out of the house and make a little bit of money.

The day I was offered the job, I was told my training would be a week long and at a different location and city than where I'd actually be working.  The hours of my training were also different.  As a non-driver and mother of a very anxious child, this presented a challenge for me.  Luckily, Dustin had a wonderful boss that was so accommodating to our unusual situation and she worked with him so that he could take me to work.

On the flip side, I had to find a sitter for Isabelle.  I had a good friend that offered to help me.  She had two young girls of her own and I knew Isabelle would be in good hands.  She also knew about Isabelle's stranger anxiety and promised me she wouldn't be bothered by it.  So, I sucked it up and decided to trust that things would be okay.  After all, Isabelle was only going to be with a sitter for less than 2 hours a day.

The first day she cried most of the time.  The second day was the same, but she cried less.  By the end of the week, she was still anxious to see us leave her, but she was much more relaxed and it was obvious she was getting used to the idea of being around new people.

That week was a great learning experience for me as I let go of my daughter and allowed her to adapt to new situations and experiences.

Now, at 3 years old, Isabelle continues to be shy, but she has definitely come a long way.  She is able to see my family on a regular basis, so we're all cured of her stranger anxiety there; however, she see's Dustin's side of the family less and is still prone to not wanting grandma or grandpa hold her which really bothers me.  But, overall, things have improved greatly.

As I ponder the new experiences she will be faced with in the coming years {a new baby sister, pre-school, kindergarten, etc.}, I worry about how she will adjust.  I have nightmares of her refusing to go to school, so I'm trying to do what I can now to prepare her, even if it's just in small ways.

Isabelle has always enjoyed dancing, so I proposed to Dustin that we sign her up for classes.  He was on board and we both were happy to give her the opportunity to be in new situations, to be in a classroom-like setting, to learn how to be comfortable around adults and children and, of course, to have fun!

On Saturday, we went to a local dance store to get her a leotard, tights, ballet slippers and tap shoes.  The store was very busy and I felt like a total fish out of water.  I imagined my feelings were how my mom felt when she first took me to a music store after I demanded to take violin lessons.  She had no idea what to expect, and I found myself in the same situation.

I caught myself being a helicopter mom as the nice associate worked with Isabelle to find the right size shoes.  It took all my energy not to answer the questions she was asking Isabelle, but to instead let the two of them interact and communicate together.

So far, I've learned that if I just back off and relax my daughter does just fine in new situations.  At first, she squeezes my leg in apprehension and is quiet and shy around new people, but eventually she does let go and blossoms as she enjoys a new experience.

I am thoroughly enjoying the idea of everything life has to offer Isabelle in the coming years, but know her growth and development and advancement can only go so far provided I learn to let go and trust that she will be okay. 

Thoughts?