Showing posts with label Hilarious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hilarious. Show all posts

August 14, 2015

THINGS that made me SMILE this week

Most mornings, I wake up looking like this


Not only looking, but feeling beautiful and ready to conquer the world


However, completely out of the blue and totally random, one day this week, I awoke from my peaceful slumber looking a bit more like this


So, naturally, I ate a piece of cake for breakfast.

As I was enjoying my healthy breakfast, my two-year old daughter, LL, approached me with a smile.  She gently caressed my hair with her small hand, looked directly into my eyes and said, "You look so pretty, Mama!"

Is there really anything more to life than that?

Another day, my oldest daughter, Isabelle, found her set of toy instruments.  She began walking around the house playing the Triangle.  You know, the Triangle.  There's usually only one Triangle instrument per orchestra because there's no need for more than one.  One is plenty loud. 


Eventually, she made her way into the office where I was taking care of a few things on the computer.

Literally inches from my ear, she asked excitedly, "Can you hear me?!"

I immediately stopped what I was doing and reassured her that, yes, I could hear her playing just fine all while trying so hard not to laugh out loud.

...

And these, my friends, {#johnmccain} are just two examples of things that made me smile this week.

February 2, 2014

how to LOWER your DISH NETWORK bill

When I first signed up for Dish Network I was eligible for a promotional rate for one year.  My monthly bill during that year was roughly $38.00.  After a year, the charges went up significantly to $68.00.  

After awhile, I decided to see what I could do about lowering my bill.  I talked to a nice representative who told me she could change my monthly bill to $41.99 for one year.  I was very happy about the new price, and confirmed with her numerous times that the price she quoted me was what I could expect to see on my bills for the next  year.  She assured me that the final price would be $41.99.

Well, the next month, my bill was higher than the price I was quoted, but I figured that had to do with amounts being pro-rated since my promotion had changed mid-month.  So, I just let it go.

The following month, the amount was even higher, so I decided to chat with a representative online to find out what was going on.  After awhile, it became clear that the girl I originally spoke to had given me wrong information, and while I was chatting with the Dish representative about her mistake, I more or less just wanted an apology and an admission that a mistake had been made.

An apology was never extended, and, in fact, things like these were said instead:

"I don't know what happened.  I was apart of the conversation."

"How about you get rid of the protection plan?  That would lower your monthly bill."

I eventually ended the chat conversation and told the representative I would most likely close my account since I couldn't trust what my bill would be.

A day or two later, I tried again.  I chatted with another representative and explained my situation.  Again, I was looking for an apology or some sort of acknowledgement that yes, a mistake had been made on the part of Dish Network.  

Nada.

So, I said I wanted to close my account and the rep quickly gave me the contact information I needed.

The next day, I called Dish Network and spoke to a nice representative.  I explained my situation and said I wanted to close my account.  He told me I would be penalized for closing my account early, and when I told him I was outside my two-year agreement, he started with the specials he'd extend to me if I kept my service.

Specials like HBO or sports channels free for 3 months.  I told him I didn't watch channels like that and that I still wanted to cancel.

He then went over all the details of how to return my receiver, remotes, etc. and how I would be penalized if I didn't do things correctly.  Apparently Dish is allowed to make mistakes without any consequences, but not their customers.

After I told him I understood what I needed to do, he asked me if I was sure I wanted to close my account.  I told him confidently that I did.

And then he put me on hold.

And then he came back on the line and went over a few other items of business with me.  And asked me again if I still wanted to proceed.  I said yes, again.

And then he put me on hold, again.

And, then, suddenly he came back on the line and said he'd knock of $30 from my bill if I kept my account open.  I went over the numbers with him and decided to take him up on his offer, assuming, of course, the quotes he gave me actually turned out to be correct.

In the end, I gave Dish Network another chance.  After all, my new bill was apparently going to be lower than my original starting price.

And then the bills came.  And the numbers didn't seem right.  They seemed a little too low.  As in, my bill was less than $20 a month.  I was confused and eventually chatted with a supervisor about it.  Apparently, my original promotion {the one that supposedly took my bill down to $41.99} was still in effect, plus the additional $30 discount I was given for threatening to close my account.  

To be honest, I don't know exactly how all the math adds up.  All I know is that my bill is somewhere between $15 - $17 a month for one year.  I just have to laugh because I was more than thrilled with paying $41.99.  I thought I had scored a pretty sweet deal.  And, all the talk about closing my account all stemmed from a measly $7.00 discrepancy.  Sure, not a lot of money, but the bottom line is I wanted what I was quoted.

My experience is just another example of how messed up Corporate America really is.  I know I'm just one customer and I matter not to Dish Network in the grand scheme of things.  But, it really is pathetic that I managed to score such an awesome deal all because this company refused to acknowledge a mistake.

And, honestly, in the end, that's all I wanted - a simple apology.

...

UPDATE as of September 2014

This post has turned out to be one of my most view posts ever.  I am amazed at how many people are looking for ways to lower their Dish Network bill!  I recently made a change to the way I view TV and am in love.

First, I cancelled my Dish Network service.

Second, I bought a Roku (a one-time fee of $69)

Third, I signed up for Netflix (which included 30 days free service)

Fourth, I signed up for Hulu Plus (which included 60 days free service)

Now, I have access to all the shows I want for a SET PRICE of less than $20 a month.  And, I was streaming shows to my TV after a very short, pain-free, appointment-free installation process.

These services have been a game changer for our family.  If you're fed up with companies like Dish Network overcharging you, I highly recommend you consider doing what I do and getting rid of it all together.

June 12, 2012

everyday HUMOR

I've come to realize that some of the funniest things that are ever said really come out of nowhere, and if you're really paying attention you can have a ball no matter where you are.  Here are a few fun conversations I've had lately.

...

Co-Worker:  "Hot Rod is the best movie ever made!"

Me {jokingly, of course}:  "Really?  Even better than Schindler's List?"

Co-Worker:  "I've never seen Schindler's List.  What's it about?"

Me {in shock}:  "What's it about?!  Wait, when were you born?"

Co-Worker:  "1991."

Me:  "Okay, ya, you were probably 4 when that movie came out, so I guess I can understand why you haven't seen it."

{I then explain what Schindler's List is all about.}

Co-Worker:  "Ya, I think I'll just stick to Hot Rod."

...

Isabelle's 4 year old friend:  "When I was a kid, I used to play matching games all the time."

Me:  "You're still a kid."

Friend:  Blank stare

...

{A different} Co-Worker:  "She did a total 360!"

Me:  "You mean 180."

Co-Worker:  "What?!"

{I then explain the difference between a 180 and a 360}

"Co-Worker:  "Okay, so anyway...."

...

Manager:  "Is everything okay with you and Katie {not the person's real name, fyi}

Me:  "Yeah, why?"

Manager:  "Well, you were talking to her in your mom voice, so I just wanted to make sure."

Me:  "I guess the mom in me is bound to come out at work every once in awhile."

...

{A different} Manager:  "Hey, are you okay?"

Me:  "No, I'm not.  I don't really want to be at work today."

Manager:  "It'll be okay.  We have pickles today in the break room for everyone."

...

These gems that I totally want to do in my own neighborhood


...

There you have it.  A small glimpse into my life and the things I find quite funny.

June 8, 2012

FLASHBACK FRIDAYS: That One Special Day in June

Today, I'm participating in Karen's meme Flashback Fridays.  I think it's fun to revisit old posts, and this one is in honor of Father's Day, which is fast approaching.

Confession Wednesday Button

Enjoy!

...

My husband and I tend to take a "less is more" approach when it comes to holidays.

Father's Day was pretty easy, breezy this year.  We made plans to spend the day with Dustin's side of the family who live two hours away from us.  On Sunday morning we woke up early, got ready and then hit the road.  Before we left, though, I gave Dustin his present.  It actually ended up being a two-for-one because I ended up getting somewhat of a gift too.

I bought Dustin 'Fierce' from Abercrombie & Fitch;.  It is an awesome cologne that, I swear, The Gateway (an outdoor mall near our house) pumps through the vents so it can be smelled all throughout the greater Salt Lake area.  It seriously haunts me every time I am shopping.  I tried my best to resist the temptation to buy it.  I really did.  But, eventually, it's awesomeness won, even at the risk of losing my hearing (it's so loud in A&F, seriously!) which means it's that good of a cologne.

Dustin loved it, and now he and our house smell so wonderful.  It's like heaven in here!


But, wait, it gets better.  When I left the store carrying my first ever A&F purchase, I walked out of the store with this bag.  It was WAY too big for my little cologne box, but it had cloth handles which made it both cool and ridiculous.  Cool in that how often do you get bags with cloth handles, and ridiculous because, hello, cloth handles?  What a waste of money!


No, the best part is not the handles.  It's the bag itself.  I mean, seriously, how often does a bag with this type of picture on it come along?  Forget that this is a bag from a clothing store and the picture is of a half-naked man modeling a swimsuit that isn't really even on his body, begging the question, "Does A&F really even like their clothes?  They don't advertise people wearing their them."

Just forget all that nonsense.  Sometimes we all just think and analyze too much.  Just look at the bag.  The bag, in all it's glory.

Ya, the bag was my present.

P.S. Dustin, I love you so much.  And one of the reasons why I love you so much is because you can appreciate the humor in this post.  :)

April 28, 2012

Y is for YOUTUBE

I love YouTube.  I've never actually uploaded a video myself, but I have received countless good times while watching random videos that completely random people have made.

One thing that just blows my mind about YouTube is that people become famous from it.  They become rich from it.  It's insane.

If I knew that NOT knowing the answer to this question would make me famous, I would've stopped learning years ago!



Who knew having such an affinity for rainbows was so funny?



I don't know where I'd be if I couldn't watch this masterpiece with just a few clicks of a button.



And I'm pretty sure all of Britain was put to shame the minute this woman began to sing.

Let's face it, the world is a better place now that we have YouTube.

Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but let's just pretend it's true for today.

February 3, 2012

my {P}INTERESTS

Who doesn't love Pinterest?  I sure enjoy browsing and repinning every now and then, so I thought I'd share a few of my most recent repins.

On my board {HILARIOUS}

When you're in the mood to look like a pie.

My comment, "On the days you want to look like a pie."

On my board {IF I COULD SEW...}

Pinned Image

Pinterest has definitely inspired me to want to sew.  It seems like such a useful skill and my bed is in major need of some decorative pillows.

On my board {WISDOM}

never go with a hippie to a second location - 30 rock

A quote from my favorite comedy TV show 30 Rock.

On my board {ISC, INC.}

Pinned Image

I think decorating my daughter's {aka ISC} room with her own drawings is the best idea ever.

On my board {LOVE AT HOME}

Pinned Image

I took advantage of these freebies and downloaded the ROLL WITH IT picture in an 8x10 and had it printed at Costco.  It's now in a white frame and hangs above my kitchen sink.

On my board {FOOD}

Pinned Image

Made these for dinner and they were delish.

So, there you have it.  A few of my {P}INTERESTS.

HAPPY {RE}PINNING!

...

Enter my GIVEAWAY.  Don't miss out!

December 3, 2011

you LITERALLY can't make this STUFF UP

I have a love/hate relationship with the local news in Utah, specifically the news on KSL.  I love watching it because some of the stories they consider Top News or Breaking News is just insane.  And I hate it for the exact same reason.

The other day, I learned about a man that had been shot in the butt by his dog.  It was the Top Story on the KSL website.  Little did I know, a major windstorm was heading in my direction, and nowhere did I find a front page article about that.  But, that's besides the point.

Anyway, as I read this article, I was reminded of my favorite TV comedy show, 30 Rock.  In the episode 2.6, "Somebody to Love" Jack (Alec Baldwin), who is a staunch Republican, falls for a Democratic congresswoman, C.C. (played by guest star Edie Falco).  After a spontaneous evening together, Jack learns C.C. originally got into politics after her neighbor's dog shot her in the face, requiring her to have many reconstructive surgeries.  He also learns that her "getting shot in the face story" was made into a Lifetime Original Movie called A Dog Took My Face And Gave Me a Better Face to Change the World: The Celeste Cunningham Story.

Hilarious.

If you're not watching 30 Rock, which could be because NBC is playing Whitney (gag) instead, the new season starts on January 12th.  If you're a fan of shows like Arrested Development or New Girl and aren't already a fan of 30 Rock, you'll probably like it.  Give it a chance.  If How I Met Your Mother or Mike & Molly is more your style, I don't think you'd like 30 Rock.  But, you never know.  Give it a try!

After all, their episodes do mirror real life events.

Here's a video clip of Jack watching C.C.'s movie.



June 30, 2010

Confession Wednesday: STRANGERS

Confession Wednesday Button

This confession is super, super easy for me.  I've definitely had my fair share of strange encounters with strangers.

It all began one night when I was at a restaurant with my husband.  At this point in time, the two of us were just friends.  Anyway, while we were waiting for our food, this guy came to our table.  He was very tall and thin and smelled like cigarette smoke.  He was dressed in all black, had a huge trench coat on and was wearing a cowboy hat.  He was most definitely not an employee of the restaurant, so I was really curious as to why he was standing by our table.

Immediately following his arrival, he started talking to me.  Not Dustin.  Just me.  In fact, he acted as if I was at the table all by myself.  He began asking if I like to play pool.  I told him no.  He asked if I was interested in taking lessons, etc., etc., etc.

A few minutes went by, and I was doing all I could to contain my laughter.  Dustin found things equally hilarious, so much, in fact, that he stayed completely out of the conversation.  Apparently, he enjoyed watching me suffer as I attempted not to laugh all while listening to this guy tell me how wonderful he was at pool.  

After some more small talk, I couldn't stand it anymore. I told this dude I would consider taking lessons.  My main focus was getting him away from me.  He asked for my number.  Yeah, right.  Instead, I told him I would call him.  I asked for his number.  He said he only had a pager (Hi, 1985).  I wrote his pager number down.  I then asked for his name.  He said everyone just called him "Monkey Boy."

Ah, the suffering started again.  Dustin's face turned red.  We both tried to keep it together.  It was so difficult.

I thanked Monkey Boy and was SO happy when he began walking away.

June 1, 2010

my 10 LOVES

"What truly is logic?  Who decides reason?  My quest has taken me to the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional, and back.  I have made the most important discovery of my career - the most important discovery of my life.  It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reason can be found. I am only here tonight because of you.  You are the only reason I am.  You are all my reasons."
-John Nash, A Beautiful Mind

I was tagged by Karen.  I'm suppose to list 10 things that I love.  And, in keeping with my posting tradition, I have included my favorite quote about love from the movie A Beautiful Mind.

And,  here is my list in no particular order.

1.  I love being a lefty.  Sure, my ink often smears when I write.  Yeah, my paper is always turned completely sideways.  But, despite all that, being left-handed is really cool.  We lefties love other lefties.  It's so funny when a fellow lefty sees me writing and happily exclaims, "Hey!  I'm a lefty too."  It's cool belonging to the Lefty Club.

2.  I love text messaging.  It's fast, it's fun, and boy, oh, boy it beats talking on the phone.  Man, I just love hearing my text message alert.  It's like Christmas morning!

3.  I love music.  I can't say enough about the importance of music in my life.  Music helps me emotionally, mentally and physically.  It calms me down, motivates me and makes me think.  It's a beautiful thing.

4.  I love lip gloss.  There's nothing like a little shimmer on my lips to help me get through a rainy day.

5.  I love my husband.  I tried to make this list about things that I love that aren't obvious, like my husband. But, I really do love my husband and not just because he's my husband, but because he's an amazing fella.  He loved it when I made more money than him.  He didn't mind when I struggled taking his last name after we were married.  He has awful taste in music.  He looks great in jeans.  He thinks about ways to surprise me and then tells me about his ideas instead of actually carrying them out and surprising me.  I could go on for days!

6.  I love people watching.  People watching in an airport is the best.  Such a wide variety of people and personalities everywhere!

7.  I love cities.  It wasn't until I moved to a small city in Idaho that I realized I am a major fan of big cities.  I love all the movement, the sounds, the smells.  It's all so great.  I can't wait to live in a bigger city soon!

8.  I love Feng Shui.  Okay, so I'm not a real feng shui expert, but I do believe every room in a home should have a purpose and a comfortable layout.  When I first moved into my current home, I spent hours arranging and rearranging my formal living room.  It was endless, but once I found the perfect place for each item of furniture it was like magic.  

9.  I love my puppies.  My husband will laugh his head off when he reads this.  I think I utter the words, "I can't stand these dogs!" more than anything else.  My dogs are so annoying.  They bark non-stop.  They pee whenever they get excited.  They track in mud all throughout my house.  They require so much attention like food and grooming.  Ugh!  But, at the end of the day, they are so loyal and love nothing more than to cuddle up next to me while I watch Law & Order.

10.  I love laughing.  Whether I'm all alone watching an episode of 30 Rock, in a big crowd full of friends and family or browsing through Awkward Family Photos, laughing is great.  It really is the best medicine.

Thanks for the tag, K-Lo.  It was sure fun!

May 1, 2010

could you SPELL that, please?

PTERQUIE (tur-key)

Today's thought is about people who have common first names, but whose spelling of the name is anything but, and people who have unordinary names.

Every so often, my husband and I think about cool names for pets.  We apparently have too much time on our hands or have really bad sense of humors because it's one of our favorite pastimes.  Our favorites as of late are Jeffrey, Scott, Victoria and Beverly.

One day, we decided Turkey would be a hilarious name for a dog.  As if picking out dog names wasn't weird enough, we took it a step further and decided how we would spell it.  This is what we came up with:  PTERQUIE.  The "P" is silent.  While this activity of ours was a total joke to Dustin (the hubby), I decided IF (and that's a BIG if - I'm not a huge dog fan) we got another dog after our current puppies (Sammie and Tod) have gone on to the next life, the dog's name would be PTERQUIE.  We'll see if it ever happens.

When it comes to naming children, is it just me or are names getting WAY out there?  For example, Gwyneth Paltrow has a daughter named Apple and Ashlie Simpson named her son Bronx Mowgli.  Sure, apples are delicious and Mowgli was an important character in the beloved Disney classic The Jungle Book, but does that mean they make good names for people?

I think there should be an unwritten law that people need to practice a bit more common sense before choosing a name.  In my book, this would include a few things.  First, the name should be a good, solid name.  A name that isn't too weird and one that the child can grow into.  A name may be way cute when the child is young, but you've gotta consider if it would still be cute when the child is an adult.

Second, the spelling of the name should be considered.  I cannot even tell you how many ways I have seen the name Kennedy spelled (Kenidi, Kenedie, you get the idea). As a person whose maiden name was constantly misspelled and mispronounced, believe me when I say it gets SO OLD having to spell your name wherever you go.  And, don't even get me started on all my awards or trophies I won that all had my name misspelled.  So annoying!

And, third, consider if the name rhymes with a four letter word or could make your child an easy target at school.  I'm a big fan of the name Tucker, but am pretty certain I couldn't go through ever naming my son that.  Of course, you can't plan your life around what bullies could potentially do to your child, so maybe this step isn't as important as the others.  But, I still think it should be considered.  

Thoughts?
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