May 10, 2012

mom GUILT


I've read a lot about working mothers feeling "mom guilt."  I guess I can consider myself apart of that crowd because these last two weeks have definitely made me second guess having a job.

It all boils down to the fact that Isabelle is horrible at night.  Horrible.  The days of putting her in bed at 8:00 without any problems are long gone.  Now, Isabelle is usually wide awake when I get home from work, which is usually close to 11:00 at night.  And, Dustin is at his wits end as he's been trying for the last three hours to calm her down.

I'm trying to convince myself that this is just a phase, because certainly Isabelle has gone through her fair share of weirdness at bedtime over the years.  But, it doesn't help that this phase coincides perfectly with when I started working again.  Well, I guess I can't say that for sure, but it really seems like things weren't this bad before.  They may have been rocky, but not this bad.

It also doesn't help that the last time I remember Isabelle going to sleep at a decent hour was when I had the day off and we didn't do anything.  We didn't go anywhere.  We stayed at home and had a relaxing day.  And that night, just like the good ol' days, she's was in bed at 8:00.

I thought Dustin and I had made a pretty good schedule for ourselves.  The overlap between when he gets home from work and when I go to work is slim.  She plays hard while at my parents' house, which would normally equate to one tired little girl at the end of the night.

Bottom line, the biggest difference between now and then is that I'm not home.  What once felt like such a mundane process {wake up, get ready, spend the day with Isabelle, make dinner, eat dinner as a family, put Isabelle to bed, go to bed} all of the sudden seems a little bit more important in terms of my daughter's stability.

I guess, for now, I'll just wait things out.  Perhaps Isabelle is just adjusting to a new normal.  Maybe she just needs more time getting used to me not being there as often.  And, if that's the case and this really is just a phase, I hope it ends soon because I don't think I can take the guilt much longer.

7 comments:

  1. I know how hard this is. I am sure she will get into a groove.

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  2. I know it can be very hard. That mom guilt had me quitting a few jobs. It may take a little bit for her to get used to it.

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  3. Every time we have a schedule change, my boys go through a rough patch. And those schedule changes can be dramatic and frequent, which had lead to frequent, dramatic changes in my boys. I think ages 2-6 is the roughest time for this. After Hubster went back to school, my youngest wouldn't sleep in his bed for over a month. Things will settle down. You will all find your new normal.

    But, wow, the mom guilt can be a doozy. I still get it, and I've been working every day for the last 5 years!

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  4. Hi! My mission...which I chose to accept...was to continue to visit as many A to Z Challenge participants as I could even after the challenge is over because I didn't want to miss out on any great bloggers out there! Lovely blog...good luck with the rest of the year and I hope you had a wonderful weekend!

    Donna L Martin
    www.donasdays.blogspot.com

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  5. Sorry about this. It sounds hard on everyone for sure! When we moved here Dylan didn't sleep well for a while. Change is hard on kids.

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  6. I'm sorry, Em. That sounds really rough. I hope things start getting better quick.

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  7. I don't have kids, so I don't know, but I don't think you should feel guilty. Just follow your instincts and nothing else matters. I hope things get better.

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