Here are a few of my thoughts on businesses that are choosing to be anti-kid.
You want my child to be well-mannered and behaved in a restaurant? How am I suppose to do that if the only restaurant she's allowed to be in is McDonald's?
You don't want to hear a peep from my daughter during a movie? I don't want to hear you chomping on your popcorn and looking at your cell phone every five seconds. Oh, and I also don't want to hear you and your friend discuss the movie, during the movie.
You don't think my child shouldn't be allowed in an airplane? May I remind you that you were once a child and chances are you rode on an airplane when you were young. Can you imagine if some bratty flight attendant told you you couldn't go to Disneyland?
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Intolerance for "kids being kids" is getting to the point of being completely out of control. I can't teach my child how to be a good child in public if she's not allowed in public. And, let's not forget how rude, annoying and down right disrespectful adults can be.
We've all been to a movie when we've wanted to clobber the adult people behind us because they won't shut up.
We've all been to a restaurant where a group of adults are carrying on as if they are the only people on earth.
I get that parents need to control their kids. I get it. Believe me I do.
And I don't believe children should be allowed everywhere. If I ever plan on going to a fancy restaurant, believe me, my daughter will not be in attendance.
But, grocery stores?
Is hearing a child misbehave really that big of a deal in terms of the overall wellness of your grocery shopping experience?
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To sum things up, how in the world do people expect me to raise a well-rounded, polite, well-behaved, cultured daughter if she's not allowed to go anywhere?
Thoughts?
We took my 8 month old son to Panera on busy Saturday morning for a bagel. He sat on my husbands lap and munched quietly for a good 20 minutes. Then my husband was talking to him, and he started to giggle...not a loud obnoxius scream, but a giggle. A lady sitting a table away really looked at us and said "I cant believe they let people bring a baby in here". Uh, lady it wasnt a bar- it was Panera with 1000 of our closest friends. My husband looked right at her and told her that he couldnt believe they let miserable people in Panera either. Sometimes people just suck.
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough one. When I worked in retail I used to hate when moms let their kids run wild through our store, toppling displays, and messing things up. I've also been annoyed at screaming babies on airplanes and restaurants. I flew with Shye when she was 6 months old and that was terrible. She cried for the first 30 minutes of the flight despite my best efforts to console her. It was terrible, I got lots of dirty looks and heard lots of overly loud sighs. Luckily for me she conked out. And then there was one time when we were at a restaurant and Shye was sitting in her high chair chattering away happily and the man at the table next us started getting really annoyed with the noise she was making even though she wasn't being any louder than anyone else. She just wanted to join in on the conversation.
ReplyDeleteI don't think kids should be allowed to do whatever they want in public, and parents for sure need to watch them the entire time. I just think people need to be a bit more understanding and not expect infants, toddlers and older kids to be perfect.
DeleteThis is a great topic. Such a difference between kids being kids and parents not caring that their kids is freakin loud and obnoxious. I'm all for kids in public places if their parent is aware of the fact that they are THERE WITH THEM. I swear some act like they forget, or dont care when their child acts up. Restaurants, I think it's totally ok for babies, kids to laugh or have a voice, when your child throws a fit and you try to console them GREAT, if they keep throwing that fit and it's gone on for a while please remove yourself and child and go step out side and try to calm them down out of respect for those of us who paid for a sitter or are there without our kids. It's just curtosy, again that is all after you tried. I bring my kids with us as well, but you better believe I step out when needed. Movies, my kids are awesome at movies, Awesome. I'm not just saying that. They sit there and hardly move, and at times may repeat a line or something excidedly but I hurry and remind them to whisper. If you take your kids or babies I dont think it's ok for yoru child to be crying or laughing or running through isles the whole time. It is distracting and annoying. Babies..I'm ok when people attempt that, most times they sleep through it, or cry for a few minutes until fed. However if your baby is crying dont sit in the freaking tunnel bouncing your child(yes we can still hear you there) go out. I have missed 3 movies out of 3 boys due to crying. I ran out fast and stayed out. I also got my money back(most theaters understand this and I didn't know this til a lady who worked at megaplex told me to ask for it back) it was awesome and good to know. Grocery store, this to me people just need to suck it up. Moms just want to get in and out as fast as anyone else and usually have to drag their kids with them. So....I dont mind crying, fits, tantrums, even running(although my kids wont be doing this, the running party anyways) but if your kid is pushing one of those kid carts and jamps it into the back of my ankels I may kick like a donkey and pretend like I didnt know they were there. You are warned. So obnoxious. I wont let my kids use those til they are older(and they havent yet because I know they would do this). I just think people have lost their view on what is considered considerate now a days. Especially in Utah, I feel like people think "well it's normal to have loud kids everywhere so why should I stop mine cause of all the other loud kids. Seriously...It's that kind of attitude that doesnt help. If everyone would just keep on their children, it would be nice. Back to kids being kids. I'm all for happy, laughing, even crying kids. It comes with childhood and learning and learning to be in public, and also patients, and respect, it's just the ones who dont try to stop it or comfort their children that drive me crazy. All this being said I'm far from perfect, and my kids are just that KIDS. I let them be kids, but I for sure am aware of their behavior. Have I had to leave a cart full of times...Yes..I have left the theater, I've left pretty much everywhere a few times. That's just what you have to do sometimes. Also people need to keep their trap shut. No one should be leaning over and giving you advice, or making comments under their breathe, it's none of their business. I would never do this to someone who DIDNT do any of the things I just complained about, I'm just saying it's annoying and tacky. :) That's my 2 bits.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely. The best way to teach a child is through experience. Where I work, children aren't allowed in to shows most of the time. But we do have at least 2 shows a year (sometimes more) where children of all ages can come and enjoy the Symphony or a Ballet. We can't expect them to behave once they are old enough to attend, unless they learn how.
ReplyDeleteOh forgot airplanes. Not much you can do there. Annoying when there is fits/crying/ect of course. But...you have no idea how each kid will handle things, or if they will be sick, or ears need to pop ect. I bring stuff to keep them entertanined and hope for the best. Our last flight Cohen was pukin the whole time and crying cause he felt so sick, all the times before he was perfect. You just try your hardest. Again it's annoying, your stuck in the same spot being forced to listen to it so I can see how frustrating it is. However...I also hate when people make comments at this point, it's not gonna help the child calm down, it definetly wont make the mom feel any better so it doesnt help to be mean.
ReplyDeleteIt is getting out of hand, but I think a lot of is we have babies raising babies. These little girls who get pregnant because it's the thing to do (16 and Pregnant) and then they have those babies and suddenly they are saddled with children they do not know how to control. That is one theory I have. But I think kids need to be in places where they have to act nicely otherwise they will not learn.
ReplyDeleteOK,Why is it just teen mothers who don't know how to control their children? I was a teen parent and my child knows how to behave. I see a lot of older couples with children who's children act terrible. I don't think it's just teen mothers who kids act up. Everyone's do. Please try not to think of us as a stereotype. We don't do that to older parents.
DeleteAt my advanced age, I can tell you that there are kids who have been taught how to behave and kids who have never been told "No" once in their entire lives. There is a big difference between sick kids--on or not on airplanes--and brats. People can usually tell.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, there are also kids who have disabilities that make what we would view as "normal" behavior just flat impossible. We should probably try really hard not to judge, because we just don't know all the facts.
However...I really believe that there are places tiny kids do not belong. If there is no way the child can't be there, then it's up to the parent to be sure the child isn't a disturbance. For example--weddings and funerals: sometimes the child just MUST be there. If the kid gets fussy, take 'em out.
Grown-ups need to realize that attention span is related to age/development. Five year olds can pay attention for five minutes before they need a new activity. Expecting a kid that age to quietly and attentively sit through something that lasts for three hours is cruel and unusual punishment for both the kid and for those who are trying to enjoy the presentation/ballet/whatever.
It's just like anything else--kids need to practice being quiet and paying attention. So, getting a dvd of a ballet, for example, and practicing being quiet and watching will help a child get ready for the real thing. I would strongly suggest going for the first time to a three hour ballet with a four or five year old child is asking for misery--the kid will learn to hate ballet, the parent will get a migraine, and the other audience members will think un-Christian thoughts. Just sayin'...
I personally would not take my children somewhere really nice. The way I see it, some people maybe saved for weeks or even months to go out to a nice dinner. Maybe it's a special occasion, and who am I to ruin their one special night out a year? If I knew that my children would be well behaved, maybe I would take them, but I definitely wouldn't take my 3 year old, and probably not even my 6 year old.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, if I'm out with my kids and really trying to control them, but they're being the crazy the beasts they usually are, then I would appreciate a little empathy, not criticism! I would hope that they could recognize that I'm doing the best I can!
We don't even take our kids to eat with our guests here at our own dining room. They are just too young. I do have the older ones go, alone with Dad, to eat with the guests once in a while. But that is it.
ReplyDeleteI'm giving you a blogger award. Come see: http://citygirlgoneranchmama.blogspot.com/2012/07/as-i-mentioned-before-i-have-been.html
I'm so in agreement with you! There is a time and place for no-kid environments and we should all remember that MOST parents do their very best to abide by these un-written rules!
ReplyDeleteObviously, I don't have kids, but I about 98% agree with you.
ReplyDeleteI do think there is a time and a place. For instance, I have seen parents take 4 and 5 year old children to scary PG-13 and R rated movies. That's about the only time I get annoyed when there are kids in a movie theater. I mostly don't care. As long as the activity is appropriate to the age level, I don't have a problem with it.
What I DO have a problem with is when children are allowed to run around like crazy and the parents seem completely oblivious. They don't tell their kids to be quiet. Don't tell them to sit nicely in their chairs. It's easy for me to be sympathetic to a parent that is trying their best, even when the kid is having a complete meltdown. At those times, I really, really feel for the parents and wish I could do something to help them besides give them a look that says, "I totally don't blame you for what is probably a really horrible moment." It's just those all-too-frequent times when the parents don't even know what the kids are doing, who they're tormenting, and what they've gotten into that I have an issue.
And I would say those parents shouldn't be allowed out in public...
I don't think that people understand that not every parent, child, and situation is the same.
ReplyDeleteI go out with family members that have WILD children. Seriously that's the best way to describe them. They are always wanting to sit on everyones lap, pouring salt all over the table, going to other tables and standing on the seats. I'm not talking about Wendy's, I mean like sit down places. This drives me CRAZY. I feel like I'm being annoying because I am the one parenting. No you can't stand on the table! I don't care what your parents aren't saying. One time that sticks out in my head, my mom was having a salad. The little girl we were with didn't like something she took a bite of and SPIT IT IN MY MOMS SALAD! My mom was upset (DUH) and told her she can't do that. If she doesn't like her food don't eat it, but don't be rude and ruin her food. She started to cry and her mom ended up making my mom feel bad about getting mad! Every time something like this happens, if it's in my party or not, I think; my parents would NEVERRRRR let me behave this way. Not that my parents were super strict, but I knew the rules. I was spanked once, it worked.
I think this is way more of a parenting problem. Granted different kids have different situations, but you know how your kids act. You know if you are going to some place nice, they probably don't belong there. But going to the grocery store? People please. Sorry but not everyone has a 24-7 babysitter. You take your kids on your errands and they are more than welcome to do everyday things just like everyone else.
My kids go where I go for the most part. And I run into a lot of helpful and kind people for the most part as well. I don't take them to fancy restaurants or anything, but they have done well in concerts, movies, airplanes, grocery, etc. A guy at Costco put my older kid in the cart since I had a baby strapped on me. I LOVE when people are nice and kind to my kids when I'm out. It makes my day. It's not easy to do things with kids, so any support in general is appreciated. Kids are a part of the population and don't have voices to speak for themselves so we do need to stand up for them. Of course, letting your kids run rampant and scream through a movie or something isn't too cool, but I don't really see that too often.
ReplyDeleteI often think that older people (i.e. people who don't have kids under maybe tenish?) forget how kids are when they're young. During the school year I always run my errands while the older ones are in school so I have less to worry about...during the summer, obviously there's times I have to take all four on errands. I GUARANTEE that every single person who's ever looked at young kids and thought "why can't their mom control them" went through the same thing. I've come to love when people look at me and say "Enjoy it while you can, because they'll be grown up before you know it." It used to drive me nuts...but they're right. Kids need to be kids and have fun and laugh without being yelled at by a random stranger to be quiet. Obviously teach them common courtesy and that there are places they can be loud and run around and places that they need to just be quiet and stand right by mom. Great post.
ReplyDeleteI'm not against kids. I'm just against parents, well amazed that some people who chose to be parents think that the rest of the world is suppose to help bring them up. I'm actually delighted when I see a well balanced family where the parents are "adults." taking responsibility for their children's behavior. My father was a career man in the Army and I had traveled literally around the world by the time I was 11. This mean a lot of meals in public spaces. But my parents were firm and kind with making it very clear that this was special and called for special behavior. That I was in an adult enviroment, not a play ground. As for infants and tiny babies, my heart goes out to these little ones, who seem just exhausted and if their screams could be translated, it would be "take me home, please." Why don't the parents get this It's so obviou
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