February 9, 2012

Q & A: on ADOTPION

Meet my cousin Alicia, and her husband Steve and their two sons Jack {right} and Kaleb {left}.
For the past year, this sweet, young family has been through all the ups and downs that go along with wanting to adopt a child, and I decided I wanted to share their story.  


Here are the few questions I asked Alicia about her family's adoption journey.

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What circumstances in your life brought you to the decision to adopt?

On January 8, 2008, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy after being on bedrest for 3 months. During both of my pregnancies I was restricted to bedrest, but this pregnancy was more strict. At 6 months I was dialated to a five and was given two choices:  lay on my left side until 38 weeks or get sewn up! I was able to keep him cookin until 37 weeks, and we were so blessed when our healthy, 8 lb baby arrived.

After the pregnancy, however, I experienced terrible bleeding. At my baby’s four month checkup, I realized I shouldn't still be bleeding so much. Soon after, I had two surgeries that were suppose to stop the bleeding, but unfortunately didn’t.  After two more surgeries, I learned the placenta had grown into the uterus while I was on bedrest.  I was told I needed to have a hysterectomy. After a lot of prayer and support from my family, I went through with the hysterectomy at age 26.

 How long have you been in the adoption process and what has been the biggest challenge?

 We have been actively trying to adopt for a year now.  A lot of prayers and personal reflection went on as a couple and as individuals before we decided we wanted to go through with things. One of the hardest parts about adoption is that there are no guarantees that you will ever get a baby. When we planned our pregnancies there was so much immediate joy and satisfaction that we could bring new lives to our family.

The biggest challenge has been with finances. It is so ironic that there are so many babies/children that need good homes, but it costs anywhere from $20,000-$40,000 in order to bring those children into good homes. We are going to have an a silent auction and comedy show in the spring to raise money.
  
Do you have any preferences in terms of gender, race, ethnicity, etc.?

We would like to adopt a little girl if it is possible, but would be so happy to bring any healthy baby into our family! We do not have any preferences when it comes to race and have been told by private adoption agencies that Caucasian adoptions are the most expensive.

Have you felt support from your family and friends in your decision to adopt?

We have awesome families! Both of our extended families as well as friends have been so supportive of our decision. Some family members have expressed that fundraising may not be appropriate for our adoption costs, but Steve and I feel good about it.

What advice would you give to people wanting to adopt?

I think the first thing I would advise is to communicate with everyone you know that you are wanting to adopt. We have been told by many agencies that the majority of adoptions happen from people who know people who are pregnant or who want to adopt.  For Steve and I it has been so important just to have faith. We have had many manifestations to us that adoption is right for our family. Through all of the emotional hurdles we have been through this has been what keeps us going!

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Thanks Alicia for your answers.  Adoption has always been something I thought I may do at some point in my life, so it was good for me to read your thoughts about the entire process.  I do hope you are able to find a happy ending to this long, emotional journey.

I am excited for Alicia and Steve's upcoming silent auction.  I am going to donate custom invitations/announcements.  If any of my readers would like to donate or participate, please let me know.

6 comments:

  1. I am so inspired by people who go through the process of adoption. It's such a long, difficult road, and the people who do it are amazing.

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    1. Me too, Karen. I'm glad that the process is not crazy easy, because, hello, we're talking about the well-being of a child here, but at the same time, there seems to be so many hoops to jump through and absolutely no guarantees.

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  2. Oh I hope it works out for them. And yes, it is crazy how expensive and hard it is

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    1. Thanks for your comment. I hope it works out for them too!

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  3. Wow. My aunt and uncle adopted a sweet little girl when I was very young; and she has always been a cherished family member. Best of luck to your cousin and her husband. It takes a special kind of heart to welcome an adopted child as your own.

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    1. It really does, Leslie. Thanks for your comment!

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