something I AM....LITERALLY

Did you know the definition of the word literally was changed because so many people were using it incorrectly?  For example, people often say, "It was literally driving me up the wall."  Instead of, "It was figuratively driving me up the wall."  Sure, it makes for a stronger statement when you use the word literally, but that doesn't change the fact that the word is being used incorrectly.

If you pay attention, you can pick up on how often the word figuratively gets the shaft.

Anyway, I thought I would write about something that I literally am.  And that is a stay-at-home-mom.  I suffer from what I believe to be a mild case of epilepsy.  At the time I was diagnosed, I was only 12 years old and was told I would eventually out grow having daily seizures.  Well, here I am, a thirty-something wife and mother and my condition is still the same, if not a little worse.  

While my seizures are, for the most part, controlled with medication, I have been known to have a few unexpectedly.  And when I say "have a few" I'm referring to petit mal seizures which are very short, barely visible {unless you know me well}, but still dangerous nevertheless. I black out and it usually takes me a minute or two to remember what I had just been doing before it happened.  And I have no warning signs.  I don't know I've had one until it's come and gone.

As a result, I have never had a driver's license.  I've never even taken driver's ed.  I'm probably more clueless about driving than anyone else I know.  It's pretty sad, and maybe a little pathetic, but driving just isn't apart of my life.  And, for the most part, I'm okay with it.  Is it inconvenient?  Completely.  Is it better to be safe than sorry?  No doubt about it.

Because I am unable to drive, my days are usually spent at home.  If I absolutely have to be some place, I arrange for a ride.  But, in terms of hopping in the car because my daughter and I need to get out of the house, that's just not an option.  Unless we have pre-arranged plans, we're at home, or we're out walking, weather permitting of course.

When my husband gets home from work, we'll often go out, if only for a drive, so I can get out of the house at least once during the day.  In the meantime, I throw myself into my home and try to make it a good place to be because it is where I spend most of my time.

However, there's something about not being home that has always made me feel productive.  Whether I was at school or at work, I always seemed to be doing the most, being the most outside of my house.  I attribute this, perhaps misguided view, to why I have constantly struggled with being a stay-at-home-mom.  It's because I am literally a stay-at-home-mom.  I'm not a mom outside of my house {be it running errands, taking my kids to a fun museum, or going to play dates} very often.

Are there pros to my situation?  Definitely.  My daughter loves to be at home.  When we are out, she is constantly asking to go home.  I want our home to be her haven, and I truly think it is.  She is happiest when she is home.

I am very fortunate to be married to a man that is so sensitive to my condition and is not only supportive of when I need to get out of the house, but suggests me getting out and having some alone time or being with my friends.

Of course, being the weird person that I am, the type of "getting out" that I like to do is to work. Silly, maybe, but I enjoy earning a paycheck.  Which is why I'm happy to report that I did get that job I was previously mentioned.  My first day {orientation} is in a few days.  I am nervous, but excited all at the same time.

I'm excited about this new adventure.  I know it's the best thing for my family at this time, otherwise I don't think I would've gotten the job in the first place.

Am I being selfish by working?  I don't believe so.  Like I said before, this job opportunity really came out of nowhere for me, and I don't think that is a coincidence.  I have very specific plans for my paychecks, all of which will go to benefit my family.  So, I whole-heartedly think I'm doing the right thing.

Plus, it'll be nice to have a few non-literally stay-at-home-mom days.

Wish me luck!