my {VIOLIN} + me

Every once in awhile, I'll catch myself being very narrow minded.  Typically, it involves me and my way of thinking and not necessarily directed at anyone...which is probably a good thing.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, Dustin and I were asked to play a musical number in church.  We, of course, said yes and began practicing for the big day.  We tossed a few ideas around as to what song we should play, but eventually we chose one we had performed numerous times before.

{side note}

I can't play like I used to - you know, during the years that I was taking lessons and practicing at least three hours a day - so, I always worry about how I'll actually sound in front of an audience.  This was easily one of my most embarrassing performances ever.  I mean that quite literally.  I messed up at the end of the song, which consisted of two half notes. Like, two slow half notes.  I somehow messed up the first note, did not recover at all and then messed up the last note.  I was in shock, honestly, and looked at Dustin and we both started laughing at each other because there was nothing left to do but just laugh.  Seriously, who messes up like that?

{ok, back to my point}

Later that week, I walked passed my empty living room and saw my violin case resting on the floor.  The girls were playing contently in their room, so I decided to get it out.  It dawned on me that I didn't have to be preparing for a lesson or a recital or a church musical number to play.

For some reason, I had convinced myself there had to be a purpose to play.  And, suddenly, my tunnel vision faded, and I picked up my instrument and just played.  I found a book of music that I first learned when I was 7 or 8, and I just played through it.  It was so much fun.  Memories of learning these pieces for the first time flooded my mind.  I was impressed with how familiar they all seemed.  One day, I'll dive into the more advanced pieces and see if I still have any of that kind of talent left in me. 

But, for now, I'm glad I've come to realize that there's plenty to gain from just playing for fun.  For example, gaining skills to avoid bombing future church musical numbers.

#myfingersfailedme

If you know how to play an instrument, play it!