MONDAY means "What the..."

In an attempt to update my blog more often, I am going to start doing a weekly theme post.  Out of all the themes I could choice from, leave it to me to choose to post about something that bugs me.  The point is not to be a complete Debbie Downer.  The point is to just vent for the sake of venting.

I'm calling my weekly posts "What the..."  because I say that phrase basically daily and it just sums up the point of all this fun-ness so perfectly.

So, here we go.

But first let me start with a little bit of background so we're all on the same page.

As stated on my side bar, I'm a Mormon.  Or, I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Or, I'm LDS.  Like other Christians, I go to church every Sunday; however, my Sundays are a bit different than other Christian churches I've been to in that I go for three hours.  Yes, three hours.  Within those hours are three different meetings, the last of which is called Relief Society.  Relief Society is an organization just for women.  On Sunday, in Relief Society, we have lessons on a variety of different topics.  We also sing hymns.   And, we also have a chorister to lead during the hymns.   My calling (my job in the church) is to be the chorister.

As far as church callings go, this one is a cinch, especially when it is widely known by all members of the LDS faith that NO ONE, seriously, NO ONE, watches the chorister.  Their heads are usually glued to the hymn books.

I'm not 100% comfortable leading music, but I have a musical background, so the process makes sense to me.  Plus, no one will be looking at me, right?

Well, actually, there is one person that should be watching me.  That is the pianist.  After all, I'm the one leading the song; therefore, she should be watching me for the tempo, right?

Well, not so much.  And here comes the "What the..." portion of my post.

I learned the hard way that the pianist doesn't watch me, but everyone else does.  So, instead of leading the music, I'm essentially following the pianist trying to make sense of her less than steady tempo.  Instead of waving my arm in a seamless, perfect stride, it's going all over the place in less than a desirable way.

All the while everyone who is NOT suppose to be watching me is watching me.

Yesterday, after church, two elderly women came up to me and told me I was getting so much better at leading  - that I was finding that "down beat" almost all the time.

I know with all my heart that they didn't mean absolutely any harm and that all they wanted to do was compliment me on my apparent progress of (unbeknown to them) "following the piano."  It took all my strength not to correct them, to tell them I knew exactly what I was doing and if the pianist would follow me I would be on the "down beat" every single time.

But, I didn't.  I wished them a happy day and then vented the crap out of my husband about my adventures in piano following.

This is SOO not how it's suppose to be.

WHAT THE...!