BLISSFULLY ignornat

In May 2008, I found out I was pregnant.  It would be my first pregnancy of all time.  When I read the test, I just thought to myself "Ok, I'm pregnant."  Since I wasn't surprised to see a positive result, I called my husband at work and gave him the news.  He just said "Really?  Ok.  Well, I'll see you when I get home."  I've since wondered why our response to the news was so casual.  I guess it could be attributed to the fact that it took no time at all for me to get pregnant (and for that I am extremely grateful), so I don't think we really had time to decide how we would handle things.

Because this was my first pregnancy, I really didn't know what to expect.  All I had ever learned or heard about was from other people, so in a way I just assumed I would have the same experiences.  I started reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting" but to be perfectly honest I got bored with it.  Everything I read was not happening to me.  I decided I would use the book more as a reference when I had a question rather than fill my mind with what could happen.

Within weeks of finding out I was pregnant, we learned that three other girls in our family were expecting too.  We were all due within weeks of each other.  One of my cousin's blogged all about her experience and it was while I was reading her posts that I realized how different our pregnancies were.  She was going through things that never once happened to me.  She felt sick all the time.  I never had morning sickness.  Those sorts of things.

As my pregnancy progressed it continued to be really easy.  I was amazed and shocked.  Sure, there were moments of discomfort, but that was only when the baby had her leg in a weird place and as soon as she moved I was totally fine.  I slept better than I ever had before.  I never threw up after eating.  I never had heartburn, etc.

The few things that were annoying happened as I neared the 9 month mark:  my blood pressure was high, so my doctor told me to take things very easy; my ankles, hands and feet swelled; and one of fingers was constantly numb.

Six days before my due date, my doctor decided to induce me because my blood pressure continued to increase.

Like my pregnancy, my labor and delivery was a lot less dramatic and painful than I anticipated.  Our daughter was born 5 hours after we got to the hospital.  I think I pushed two, possibly three times.  And the 22 pounds I gained quickly vanished just weeks later without me doing anything.

Now that our daughter is two, my husband and I have started to think about thinking about having another baby.  As I contemplate what it would be like to have another child, the thing that scares me the most is being pregnant again.  I think I was almost too lucky with my first experience that I'm due for the complete opposite the second time around.  All the difficulties that come with having the actual baby in the flesh doesn't scare me quite as much because I'll have my husband to help me with that.  But, I'm on my own during those first 9 months.

Back in 2008, when we decided to have a baby, ignorance was blissfully on our side.  This time, I'm much more cautious. Even though I know everyone's experience is different, I'm curious to know who have been pregnant more than once if they were similar.  Was one really easy while the other just a nightmare?

Thoughts are appreciated! 

GIRL 1 vs GIRL 2

"The purpose of psychology is to give us a completely different idea of the things we know best."

-Paul Valery

I studied psychology in college.  It was my minor, in fact.  I remember during one class, my professor proposed this scenerio:

Girl 1:  One girl gives a guy her phone number.  He tells her he'll call her at a certain time.  And he does.

Girl 2:  This girl gives a guy her phone number.  He tells her he'll call her at a certain time.  But so far she hasn't heard from him.

This goes on for days.

The question is:  Everyday, which girl do you think is waiting for his phone call?

Thoughts?

top 10 SONGS

"Without music, life would be an error."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

I've read a lot of posts about music:  Top 10 songs of all time, top 10 songs of 2010 and so forth.  There really isn't any way for me to narrow down the songs or musicians that I like.  I really don't think I could ever do it.

Nevertheless, I wanted to get on the musical post bandwagon and thought I'd list the last 10 songs I purchased via iTunes.

1.  Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

Interesting fact about Muse:  If any of you are fans of the Twilight books, you may be familiar with the fact that author Stephenie Meyer thanks the band for being her....muse.  Apparently, she listened to their music a lot while writing.

As a result, there is at least one Muse song on each of the Twilight soundtracks. I personally think Meyer's tribute to Muse has catapulted their music.  Without Twilight, I doubt any tweens would be listening to them today.

I've known about Muse for awhile, but just recently began appreciating their music.

2.  Light on My Shoulder - Susie Suh

Does anyone ever watch the TV series One Tree Hill?  I used to, but then I grew a brain.

Despite it's over-the-top-ness, One Tree Hill definitely has some of the best music ever during the episodes.  In fact, there is an entire website dedicated to listing each and every song  played during every single scene of every single episode.  I have the website bookmarked.  I look at it frequently when I want to find some new music, and that is where I discovered Susie Suh.

3.  Emily - Stephen Fretwell

Whenever I find a new artist on iTunes, I pay attention to the section that says "listeners who bought this, album also bought this."  I find that very useful, and I know that is how I found Stephen Fretwell.  When I saw he had a song titled Emily I just had to listen to it.  Not too many songs are named Emily and since Emily is my name I feel it is my duty to love and appreciate the song.

As it turns out, the song isn't about some wonderful girl named Emily.  In fact, she kind of sounds like the type of girl that rips out hearts, stomps on them and then walks away.  But, I like the song anyway.

4.  Coffee and Cigarettes - Michelle Featherstone

Michelle Featherstone is another artist I found via One Tree Hill.  I tend to gravitate to songs about love, break-ups and other depressing things like that.  My brothers tell me my taste in music is "slit-your-wrists-ish."  I wouldn't go that far, but I see where they are coming from.

5.  Kill - Jimmy Eat World

Every now and then, I'll revisit an artist I really like to see if I can find a good song I may have not noticed before.  That is how I stumbled upon this song, and it was a good find.

6.  Uprising - Muse

Not too long ago, I heard this song on the radio.  I know it wasn't the first time I heard it, but on this particular day I liked it more than I had before.  Does that happen to anyone else?  I hear a song billions upon billions of times and only start to like it once pretty much everyone is done and over with it.

7.  We Are Man and Wife - Michelle Featherstone

When I bought the song "Coffee and Cigarettes" by Featherstone, I noticed this song was her top song.  I thought the title was pretty cheesey, so I didn't think twice about it.  But, then I went back awhile later and listened to it.  It's a beautiful love song, and not cheesey at all (well, maybe a little bit).  I wonder at how many weddings this song has been played.

8.  Hole in the Middle - Emily Jane White

Do you remember what I said about songs titled "Emily"?  Same goes for artists named Emily.

9.  Paper Gown - Caroline Herring

While I don't like country music, I adore folk songs, especially female folk singers.  They just seem so tough.

10.  What If You - Joshua Radin

Joshua Radin is by far one of my most favorite artists of all time.  I don't know all the details, but he apparently was discovered by Zach Braff, star of the hilarious TV show Scrubs.  I've listened to Radin's music for so long that I've forgotten how I first heard of him.  Even though I've heard his songs on a few different TV shows (House, for example), he doesn't seem to be super, urber popular - popular to the point where his music is overplayed on the radio.  At least, that is the case in Utah.  And, in my opinion, that is a good thing.

Well, there you have it.  The last 10 songs I bought off of iTunes.  I hope you like some of them.

NATURE vs. NUTURE

Last year, in lieu of a few big resolutions, I put together a 65 in 365 days list.  It was more like a bucket list - things I wanted to do that year.  They varied from organizing the photos on my computer to putting together a puzzle to reading so many books that year.  I was really excited about my list and had hope I would accomplish most all of them.  After all, they were simple.

Then February came along, and we decided to put our house up for sale.  My priorities changed drastically and the small things I put on my list suddenly seemed so totally ridiculous. 

At the end of the year, I reviewed my list and did accomplish more than I expected, so that was good.

This year, I decided to pass on the lists because there really is one thing I really want to accomplish.  I want to change my lifestyle.  I want to be more active.

I am not the type of person that naturally loves to get up in the morning and go for a jog.  My nature is to sit down and write in my journal while listening to music.  That's just me.  And for the longest time I hated that about myself.  I always wondered why I wasn't born with this innate desire to run marathons, go hiking or play sports.

But after awhile I decided not to beat myself up over being me.  What is the point in that?  I'm happy with who I am.  I love myself.  I think I'm a decent person.  On the other hand, I don't think I'm born without the ability to change or be influenced by my environment.  If I want to, I can learn to enjoy new things.

I've narrowed my goals to two things:  spend more time outside and do yoga.

Is it cliche to do yoga?  Regardless, I've always been drawn to it.  The few times I have done it, I've really enjoyed it.  The idea of putting your body into certain positions as a source of relaxing and reflection is very appealing to me.  So, I'm going to find a good yoga DVD and give it a whirl.

I once read a blog about people who were trying to lose weight by walking outside everyday.  To make things interesting, they each carried a camera with them and took a picture of something they saw while walking.  I thought this was a great idea because it keeps the focus not on walking and losing weight but watching out for something beautiful.  So, I'm going to give this idea a whirl too.

My ultimate goal is to learn to love life in a different way, to try to extend myself, but not put too much pressure on myself.  I really believe the more I try new things the more those things will naturally become apart of me.

Thoughts?

POST a WEEK

I started this blog not too long ago because I wanted to document all the crazy thoughts that enter my mind everyday.  I also hoped to meet a few new people along the way and to learn about life from their perspective.

Unfortunately, if I don't write a post, I don't accomplish either goal.

So, I decided to take part of a challenge given by The Daily Post.  I am committing to writing at least one post every week in 2011.  I am starting the challenge late, so to catch up I will be posting 3 times this week, not counting this post.

Luckily for me, The Daily Post also suggests topics which will help me out SO MUCH as I struggle with what to write about from time to time.

I hope by keeping my blog more updated I'll get more readers and comments.  I'm a comment junkie.  They keep me motivated.

Wish me luck!

a NEW DECADE

Jack:  "Lemon, I want to thank you for showing me that I could have a pleasant 

evening with a woman my own age.

Liz:  "I'm twelve years younger than you."

Jack:  "A woman your age then."

-30 Rock

I turned 30 years old in December.  It's hard to believe that my years as a twenty-something are over.  So many things happened during those 10 years:

Moved out of my parents house

Graduated from college, earning a Bachelor's degree

Met and dated a lot (well, not a ton) of really great guys

Fell in love for the first time

Lost loved ones

Lived by myself

Got married

Sold a house

Moved out of state

Bought a house

Had a baby

Quit jobs

Started new jobs

Lived as a stay-at-home mom

Sold a house

Moved again

While my birthday itself was not one big party, I did spend a lot of time reflecting upon the last 10  years of my life.  I felt very glad for all the experiences I had.  Some were great.  Some were heartbreaking.  Some were surreal.  Some sucked big time.  But, when I look at my list I realize I have done a lot of things some people in their 20s may not have.  And, as a result, I feel very empowered as I venture into the next decade of my life.  I am taking so much knowledge and experience with me that I know will help me as a thirty-something person.

Sometimes it is difficult for me to comprehend that I am no longer this care-free high schooler or a sleep deprived college student or a single girl looking for the perfect guy.  Those were the days...in my 20s.

On the other hand, I still have plenty of time to experience things that will eventually be "those were the days" experiences.  And for that, I am excited.

Thoughts?